To Donate To The Sassy Blonde

Click HERE to be linked to her GoFund Donation page. Thank you for your support.

Monday, September 30, 2013

2 Months Have Passed, 1 Month at Last?

My first blog post was on Sunday August 4th. This means I got the call on Friday August 2nd that I was sick again. Today is the 30th of September. In two days, it will officially be two months since I was diagnosed again with Cancer.

Its amazing how time flies. Its not just when you're having fun, its when you're miserable too. Why else would you look back on your life and wish you had spent it differently. Not everybody, but I'm sure a lot of people do. So in essence, maybe its not time that flies but your life.

I had plans for this weekend. Actually I've have plans for the last few weekends. I've had plans for the weekdays too. How many of those plans have I accomplished- none. I wanted to go to Color Me Mine to paint pottery with my mum. Specifically to make Dex his own personalized food bowl. All of the cats in the Druce Ladies household have had one. But nope. There's been movies I've wanted to see, but nope. I was supposed to go apple picking with my mum yesterday but that didn't happen either. We made it 5 minutes in the car before the discomfort and pain, I was trying to hide peeked out from behind the facade of my eagles jersey and fake smile. I didn't even get to watch said Eagles game. I passed out on the couch, only to wake up to see the end of the fourth quarter and Payton's world domination. So clearly I didn't miss much. I have friends in town visiting and I don't get to see them very often since I moved to Canada, and I can't even pull it together for an hour to get a quick visit in. Homework, nope. Bracelet making, I came close. I picked out the beads and then was exhausted. I can barely make it up a flight of stairs with out it committing me to my bedroom and la la land.

I officially hit the place, of being sick, where you forget what being healthy feels like. Two months. With one more month of radiation to go. I was so excited about being done chemo, and people were excited for me, but what people seem to forget is I still have to do radiation. Radiation is the source of all of the aforementioned side effects. The pain is not from chemo, its from the radiation. The nausea is from the pain, and from the radiation deteriorating my GI tract. Chemo was a baby step, radiation is my demon.

I wake up each day for radiation and can't call in sick. HA- I find this hilarious. I mean if it was school or work, or whatever, I'd call in sick feeling the way I do. But I have to shuttle my @$$ to radiation everyday. Thank goodness my mum or sis drive me or I wouldn't make it there.

All I can do successfully right now is lay in bed and watch Netflix. I can barely eat, it makes the situation much much worse for me. When I have those few shining moments of being able to eat, I embrace them with a vengeance.

I know I'm supposed to be focusing on getting better but in reality how does one do that? How can I do anything differently than I already am. I have no energy to do anything. All I can focus on is sleep. I feel like a terrible friend, losing touch with people whom I miss dearly. I can barely handle a phone convo some days. I feel like a terrible granddaughter. I just am mentally wiped.

However, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Although it doesn't seem like it, I know I wont feel like this forever.

I'm angry at my body. In fact I hate it. If I thought I was self conscious before, now I'm on a whole other level. The best part is, I'm too tired to care, well almost.

I know I'm going to start feeling better. I know I'm going to have an amazing recovery. I know I'll be able to get back in to the gym, curse at my trainer for making me do squats but then get my perky tush back. I know I'm going to go back to work and love it. I know all these things will come, but its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I have a sleep mask on.

So where does that leave me today? Well, I have my mom keeping me afloat. I have Dexter who is by far the best man any woman can ask for. All he wants is approval, love, and food. He snuggles hard core and I love him. I have a few close friends who are rockstars, because when I don't have the energy to be the best of friends, they don't hold it against me. My sis, who YAY is back from her festival. STOP LEAVING BUTT HEAD lol. I've got this, I do. But I'm tired. As each day passes, so does another day that I could be living my life. Then again, I'm alive and shouldn't I be grateful for that? I'm being selfish, I know this. I need to be appreciative for what I have and not what I want. I need to be appreciative for being alive, having my fam and Dex instead of wanting to be the best at life.

Until then...

14 comments:

  1. Courtney,
    I read your blog every day praying that each day is a better day for you. I hold you in my heart! Love to you and your family,
    Your Favorite (and only) Fifth Grade Teacher

    ReplyDelete
  2. Watch for the "Winter in the Hamptons" 1600s to drop next Saturday, December 13, in-store at all Social Status stores as well as online. Be sure to set aside $165 to get your hands Ugg Boots on this runner.Ronnie Fieg pays homage to both of his Kith retail operations with his latest New Balance collaborations.The women mbt shoes New Balance 530 is a nod to Kith's Manhattan location and takes direct inspiration from Central Park during the red bottom shoes christian louboutin fall season. The sneaker features a burgundy suede upper with crazy quilted detailing on the vamp. An off-white microperforated mbts nubuck runs along the toe wrap, while a burgundy leather takes over the heel counter. The 530s are set christian louboutin booties off with striking goldenrod accents and a leaf logo on the tongue, which comes from the New York Parks christian louboutin outlet & Recreation. Retail price is $185.
    The Shoe Gallery x New Balance MRT580 “Tour de Miami” releases on Saturday, new balance 574 December 6th. Among a long list of sneakers that initially dropped in limited quantities only to later be vindicated new balance 993 by a much wider release,

    ReplyDelete
  3. This holiday season brings two brand new editions of the 670 from New Balance. Crafted at the brand’s renowned Flimby factory and marked with Union Jack tongue insignia, the releases feature classic color-blocking and couple high-grade mesh with premium oakley sunglasses cheap suede and luxurious leather. Both the green and blue colorways are now available via Hype DC for about $190 USD per pair. For Spring/Summer 2015, New Balance has revealed a new silhouette designed with the urban cycling commuter new balance outlet in mind, though based on what’s presented, it seems like it’d work just as well as an everyday lifestyle shoe when warm weather hits the air. The CM600C forgoes the usual bulk and, at times, overly intense splash cheap louboutin shoes of colors we usually see from the company, in favor of a much sleeker, cleaner profile. Our look here reveals a perforated leather upper, a white EVA midsole serving as a contrast to the tonal palette, as well coach factory outlet as the “NB” logo embedded on the tongue for a finishing touch.

    ReplyDelete
  4. For this season, Faguo has collaborated with eyewear brand Lesca to produce a unisex model in acetate named Gabin, which highlights this spotted pattern. It's a limited series, with only 30 being produced, and priced just under $200. Jérémy Tarian is also offering a retro chic limited ray ban sunglasses polarized aviator edition for around $300, the round "Madeleine" model, available in red to add some pep to your look.Certain brands have chosen to stand out and present futuristic designs as an alternative to the ray band retro trend. That's notably the case with Dior and the $400 Dior Technologic model, seen in their summer 2015 show, with its pantos shape, metal open-worked frame (available in silver and gold), ultra-flat ray ban 3025 polarized tone-on-tone lenses and matte black acetate temples.WASHINGTON -- David Wright hops down from his oversized black pickup truck and walks into a Port St. Lucie, Fla., coffee shop, where one of the baristas buy cheap ray ban sunglasses immediately recognizes him. "Hi, David!" she squeaks, in a tone suggesting he may as well be a police officer or a dentist. He orders a green tea, nothing in it, and chats with ray ban mirrored aviators her for a moment before ducking back outside into the heat.
    “It says, ‘I’m not Ray-Ban, I’m Blakened,” says Hinton.24DP, an award winning Greenwich Village-based production company and creative group, formally announced its ray bans glasses expansion into a full service advertising agency today. The firm’s new addition to its business model will provide advertisers with a welcomed alternative to large and costly agencies that are synonymous with Madison ray ban eyeglasses Avenue.In a press statement, CEO Brian Cristiano, a 2008 New York Emmy? award winner [Advanced Media: Commercial] acknowledges “it is a fact that large advertising agencies have massive overhead and that their clients ray ban sunglasses store pay for it directly.” These high operational costs are directly correlated to their reliance upon third party vendors for production and creative services. As 24DP will now function as an all-in-one advertising, sunglasses on sale ray ban creative and production house, clients will doubtlessly benefit from its streamlined and very cost effective services;

    ReplyDelete
  5. "[T]he United States must take more decisive military actions in Syria to change the balance of power on the ground against Assad," the senators wrote. "Last month, the Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted, with an overwhelming bipartisan majority, to authorize robust lethal assistance Ray Ban Outlet Sale Review to vetted opposition units in Syria. We urge you to take this essential step."The administration last week announced it would provide military support to the rebels. But it isn't trying to enforce a no-fly zone Ray Ban Original or otherwise intervene militarily to halt a war that has killed almost 93,000 people.
    Another item Price brought back with him was a Hacky Sack. Although it was invented in 1972, Wham-O toys didn't release Cheap Ray Bans Hacky Sacks to the American public until 1983. There are a lot of tricks that are available with this foot bag bouncing game, and it was wildly popular throughout the 80s. There are Guinness world Ray Ban 3460 records for doubles, men's and women's singles.Price also brought back a boom box. Developed in the late 1970s and reaching its heyday in 1983, the boom box started off as a simple portable radio and Ray Ban 3475q quickly became as large as a personal stereo. Although they are large, in theory, they are made for portable use and were battery-operated.
    "Mitt Romney and I will protect and strengthen Medicare so that the Ray Ban Outlet promises that were made, that people organized their retirements around like my mom, will be promises that are kept," he said.Up until now, Ryan has only made brief references to Medicare in his speeches, choosing Ray Ban Usa to focus on the cuts in Medicare's growth made by Obama. The Saturday speech in Florida, a week after his candidacy was announced, marks the first time he has spent the bulk of an address Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses not only criticizing the president but also outlining his own proposals.For all of the attacks on Ryan's plan, people in the crowd seemed unconcerned about his proposals.
    The instant that play started, though, things took Ray Ban Aviator a turn for the ferocious. During the first five minutes of the game there were three arguments, two shoving matches, and no scoring. The cousins' handsome faces, smiling just moments before, contorted into grimaces. We Ray-Ban Sunglasses all played fiercely, victory momentarily more important than life itself.I'd never played this kind of game. I'm not even sure it was a game.It was more like a battlefield, an arena in which these brothers Ray Ban Resin and cousins played out the complex rivalries and emotions that all families have, especially theirs. Two-hand touches became tackles.
    Rough-hewn suburban jungle boy that I was, I rang the doorbell with excitement.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Despite sporting a funky design and the company’s usual high-tech materials, the shoe was perhaps Oakley Dispatch most noteworthy for being manufactured entirely in the United States, at the Orange County plant. This was a direct challenge to the contention of Nike and other shoemakers that they had to manufacture overseas in order to make a profit. A further diversification Oakley Factory On Sale of the product line came in December 1998 when Oakley introduced its first wristwatch, the Time Bomb, which retailed for between $1,300 and $1,500. The company was also by this time offering a line of apparel and accessories. Other 1998 moves included the Oakley The Factory purchase of the Oakley division of its Canadian distributor. This drive to directly market and sell its products in foreign markets continued in succeeding years. In November 1999 Oakley’s Australian distributor was acquired; in June 2000 the company took over the distribution of Oakley Twoface Oakley products in Austria and also opened a new office in Munich, Germany.
    *I want you to know that you would not know how sad we are in this hospital even if it shot you in the head. And I hope you have Oakley Outlets a long cruel death but actually I know you will have a long cruel death. And you might have not had to get death if you just surrender. And your took my daddy away from me, my brother and mom and are loving Oakley Holbrook friends, family, and loyal police officers. But I know he's going to be with GOD. And he really hurt my cousins heart because they loved my dad like there own dad. And I know you are going down and my dad is going Oakley Batwolf to Heaven. And I wanted you to know that I know GOD has won victory and he has my daddy right now with him.*Lincoln [Nebraska] police long have auctioned off unclaimed and stolen property at the impound lot.
    Announced in March 2007, this Oakley Dart exclusive one-year contract is for the supply of the ESS Asian-Fit Striker? goggles, and includes an available option year. The SAF has assigned the ESS Asian-Fit Striker? goggle with SSN 8465-32-080-3321.“ESS is excited to offer yet another product line tailored to the Oakley Holiday Deals specific needs of our user groups,” commented ESS President and CEO, John Dondero. “The selection of the ESS Asian-Fit Striker goggles by the Singapore Armed Forces is great testament to the functionality and desirability of these new products.”
    War was a powerful Oakley Shop Cheap Online statement, made more powerful when videos of the single "New Year's Day" appeared on the newly-minted MTV. Airplay of the album increased following the band's video exposure, which showcased U2's handsome,

    ReplyDelete
  7. The government granted an exemption under its Non-Resident Ownership Policy, which for more than two decades has stipulated that uranium mines must be at least 51 percent Canadian-owned when they start production. The move allows Paladin to proceed with development of the Michelin project, the company said in a statement Monday.Exemptions under the policy are allowed where Canadian partners can’t be found. The government said Paladin demonstrated that this was the case with Michelin.“This is a historic decision that could have implications for all uranium companies and projects in Canada,” said David Sadowski, an analyst at Raymond James Ltd. in Vancouver. Chinese nuclear utilities have said in recent months they’re considering the acquisition of a Canadian uranium project to meet their future needs, he said in a note Monday.
    Everyone is entitled to his opinion, of course, but if one defines fashion as stuff shoppers will seek out and spend lots of money on, the Canada Goose parka has been the most fashionable item of the grinding winter of 2015. http://www.canadagoosejacketsoutletonlinesale.com In New York and Milan, in Paris, Dallas, and Seoul, Canada Goose has been everywhere, zipped to the chin on commuters hurrying a few blocks to their office and draped over shoulders in drafty cafes and trattorias. The coats have appeared in blockbuster films and in countless paparazzi shots of celebrities on coffee runs. One was matched with a bikini bottom in a now legendary Sports Illustrated cover shoot. Canada Goose today makes hats, windbreakers, vests, and snow pants, but the must-have item is the parka, in black or dark blue, with a coyote-fur-trimmed hood and a price tag that starts at about $600 and runs for some models into the four digits. The company’s logo, a disc with a stylized red-white-and-blue map canada goose outlet of the Arctic parenthesized by maple leaves, has become inescapable in the urban environments where people are willing to spend a thousand dollars on a coat (while spending most of their time indoors).According to Tom Ott, the executive in charge of men’s clothing at Saks Fifth Avenue, Canada Goose sales have been ferocious over the past two years in both the men’s and women’s departments. “It was the most explosive area in men’s during the fourth quarter,” he says. In the past 10 years, annual revenue at the privately held, Toronto-based company has grown from $5 million to $200 million. Private equity firm Bain Capital bought a majority stake in December 2013 for an undisclosed sum. The coats have been selling out at canada goose coats Saks locations all over the country, Ott says, not only in the snow-battered Northeast but also in California and Texas. Sales have been strong even in Florida.
    While the NTSB has heard evidence of bird populations on the rise, about half the U.S. airports with commercial service have no plan to manage wildlife hazards, investigator Mark George told the board.U.S. wildlife strikes on aircraft rose to 7,666 in 2007 from 1,759 in 1990, and North America’s Canada goose population increased to 5.5 million in 2008 from 1.2 million in 1970, the U.S. Agriculture Department told the NTSB last year.“It truly was a miracle,” Hersman said of the US Airways flight. “If even a single element had changed, the ditching could have ended not goose down jackets as a miracle, but as a tragedy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The memory of her shabby secretarial skills still makes her laugh out loud: “Gerry gave me the first memo to type. It took michael kors uk me, like, half the day, and she came to me and said, ‘I thought you said you typed really fast,’ and I said, [she switches to a tiny, sheepish voice] ‘Well, compared to my friends [I do].’?”What Sweeney lacked in IBM Selectric skills, she made up for in her ability to critically assess TV movies and specials that might end up on the network. Not much later, Laybourne, a former schoolteacher herself, taught her the art of negotiation the low-tech way. Sweeney would sit at her boss’s side as Laybourne haggled into the telephone receiver. “We didn’t have michael kors outlet online a speakerphone,” says Sweeney. “So I would listen to what she was saying to someone we were buying a series from, and then she’d get off the phone and say, ‘OK, remember when I said that? Well, then he said this.’ And I learned to negotiate by listening to half the conversation and having the other half filled in.”
    The mini-show followed lunch for 20 or so top clients at Holt’s Cafe yesterday following a fête at his Bloor Street store on Wednesday night, with hostess Hilary Weston presiding over the affair in an aqua Oscar de la michael kors Premium Outlets Renta tunic and pants.Elsewhere there was much Michael Kors Spring 2013 about, including a dermatologist in a colourblock dress, and a capital markets trader a peony pink sheath. After tucking into sweet pea ravioli, lobster over fried green tomatoes and a sliver of cheesecake, there was an exodus downstairs to the racks of fall clothes available for special order.
    There are some who think a woman will never climb that high in this field, that the entertainment industry’s glass ceiling is too hard for even the sharpest tiara to pierce. But as with the notion of balance, Sweeney michael kors tote isn’t buying it.“I’ve never signed up for the glass ceiling idea,” she says. “I always felt it was placing a limitation on myself and on every other woman. I believe I’m going to succeed and fail based on what I do, based on my intellect, based on the decisions that I make, based on the people that I choose to work with . . .We can all figure out reasons why we didn’t succeed. Or we can just blow past everything.”
    The movie’s focus on female friendship drew Allen to the role, as did its portrait of midlife 2015 michael kors outlet women who have fun going after — and getting — exactly what they want. "The story starts out with Jessica’s character’s husband having just died; he was older, she was a second marriage for him, and the movie shows that you don’t have to be 20 to have an incredible relationship," she says. "There’s a lot of variety and possibilities out there."Allen is concentrating more on spending time with friends and her 14-year-old daughter, Sadie, than on romance at the moment (she and Sadie’s father, Peter Friedman, split in 2002). "I’m not really dating, but I’m open to michael kors outlet it," she says. "I was never a big dater, ever, and sometimes I feel the same as I did in high school!" She smiles and rolls her eyes when contemplating what’s in store for Sadie’s teenage years.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MICHAEL KORS delivered sportswear for the social club set in New York yesterday. This is the world populated by preppy Ali MacGraw look-alikes, who can wear the sexiest styles and still get away with the most innocent "Who, me?" Even the most buttery of suede babydoll dresses wouldn't melt: given innocent yoke necks and teamed with white driving gloves, Kors' bottom-grazing minis were not in the michael kors outlet online sale least suggestive. In fact, the whole collection had a sporty feel, stretch wool maillots, mirrored glasses, super-tight zip-front jackets, short-shorts and all. Gisele and Carmen Kass led out his cast of supermodels like anti-fuss cops, keeping it clean in navy and 2015 michael kors outlet white, drawing a line under any untidy hems with neat piping and detail-free plackets. His colours were strictly neutral. No tasteless tangerine or lime here. Just pewter, navy, white, mint, and mustard shades. His fabrics were equally exclusive: silk jersey, suede, cashmere and cotton. And the styles: crisp mini shirt-dresses, pencil skirts with belted shelltops, neat boatneck sweaters and button-through wrap skirts (white buttons and piping on navy wool), cardigans worn on the shoulders, and cigarette pants. When it comes to having access to this particular club, if michael kors outlet Michael Kors' name is not down, you're not coming in.
    "I love the clothes, everyone is good-looking, the plot line is a riot," he tells WWD. "I love the show. They called and said, 'You are very Gossip Girl.' I thought, 'Finally, I am a teenager.'"Kors spent Tuesday filming his segment at a mock fashion show staged at michael kors outlet stores NY's Capitale on the Bowery.HAVING partnered with new licencee Swimwear Anywhere Inc after Warnaco Group Inc dropped the business last year, Michael Kors is hoping his new swimwear offering will hit the spot."Swim is such an integral part of my design philosophy," the designer says. "It's not about swimwear per se; it's part of my customer's lifestyle."
    I'm obsessed. michael kors I like streamlined but glamorous at the same time. I like simplicity but I hate minimalism. I think with minimalism, the next thing you know it has no personality. I'm always appreciative of the things we use every day being great to look at. Why isn't your phone great to look at? I think when we have things - michael kors whether it's a lipstick, or a bronzing powder, or a nail polish - why do you feel like you have to hide it? I say skip the bric-a-brac and display fabulous products.
    Krakoff reeled off up more fashion definitions in his collection: ''lace, perforation, macramé, bead embroidery'.

    ReplyDelete
  10. We would be remiss, however, if we didn't point out the surprising scarcity of denim within this line. Admittedly, pre-spring isn't the best season for bulky jeans or jackets — but we do hope to see more of Beckham's take on the casual fabric as the brand continues to grow.On Wednesday, Abercrombie & Fitch announced that it had hired former Club Monaco men's designer Aaron Levine, known kate spade factory for elevating the brand's men's product and embodying an overall #menswear vibe, as its own head of men's design. This followed the hiring of Kurt Hoffman, Club Monaco's former senior director of men's merchandising, as general manager of Abercrombie & Fitch men's.
    This is one party you don't want to miss out on. kate spade surprise sale We hope to see you there!With the news that J.Crew was readying itself for an IPO, and then that the company was in talks to sell to Fast Retailing -- or maybe to E-Land -- it's clear that change is afoot for the retailer. And part of that change is going to entail kate spade saturday international expansion, particularly if J.Crew sells to Japan's Fast Retailing or the Seoul-based E-Land.
    In recent seasons, however, the sight of models hanging out backstage with hydrating sheet masks clinging to their faces has become an increasingly frequent one. A handful of skin-care brands have incorporated their products into runway beauty through show kate spade handbags outlet sponsorships for years, but an unusually large and diverse set got in on the action during September's New York Fashion Week. Given that makeup artists perennially stress the importance of prepping the skin before applying cosmetics to it, the opportunity has been there for a while.
    As Lupita Nyong'o's star rose last kate spade sale year — for both her acting chops and her red carpet look — so did her stylist Micaela Erlanger's. You can tell by looking at her eclectically dressed clients — Nyong'o, Michelle Dockery and Jared Leto among them — that Erlanger is paying close attention to the runway. For her, New York Fashion kate spade new york Week is a time to get inspired and scout looks for upcoming awards shows and press tours (next up: the Emmys this Sunday), sometimes calling in gowns immediately after they come down the runway. She also has to style her clients — and herself — for the shows, and has a gig styling kate spade usa website Naeem Khan's runway show. Here, Erlanger tells Fashionista what that's like.
    At a morning show on Sunday, several fellow beauty editors complimented my hair, which I had kate spade outlet just spritzed with beach spray and let air dry into a natural semi-frizzy wave prior to running out the door.

    ReplyDelete