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Sunday, February 9, 2014

To Feel Loved, To Feel Lost, To Stay Optimistic

Feeling loved. That undeniable feeling, when someone makes you feel so loved, that your chest actually expands and you can feel the warmth radiating from your heart. You get a tad hazy and lost in the moment, Your mouth dries up while you're at a loss for words. That feeling when you feel so safe and in that moment everything is perfect. That is what we're searching for, that is what makes life worth living.

Being that person, who makes someone feel that way. Loving them so much, and having them physically feel it. A visceral reaction to the smallest statement, gesture, glance. Smiling when you kiss them (or feeling them smile), squeeze their hand tighter (or having them squeeze tighter), pull them in closer (or have them pulling you in closer)... reinforcing the fact that there is indeed... love.

This is also the scariest thing in the world, because what if this moment is fleeting. Something you spend your whole life looking for and it could be gone in an instant.

I can say I've felt it. I can say I've lost it. I can say I want it.


To get all over the place on this one, I found out another one of my ex boyfriends is engaged. This is the second ex boyfriend to get engaged to the girl he started dating less than a month after we broke up. I'm 2 for 3 right now. If we include one of my other boyfriends who was borderline serious... well he's living with the girl he started dating after me so we know whats inevitably coming. That gives guys the percentage of 50% that when we date, and break up, you're most likely going to find your wife after me. I am the female equivalent of Good Luck Chuck. (A Dane Cook movie if you're wondering, in which every girl he dates, she marries the next guy she sees after him.) Sooo what does this say about me?

Either I'm so difficult that their next girlfriend seems so easy that they're like
"OMG I'm SAFE- keep me please so I don't ever have to date someone like her again."

Or I'm so independent that they're like
"WOW, You not only want me, but you need me and like having me around ALL the time"
-I might be reaching there ;)

Or I'm literally the primer girlfriend. I show them what married life could be like, and their not quite ready when they're with me. So we break up. But they miss it, and so they wife up the next one. Timing is a BITCH! Now granted, I'm not looking to get married tomorrow, so I could have been throwing off those
"Woah not me buddy vibes"
and we all know how men feel about rejection. (Rephrase: how anyone feels about rejection) Or and this is what I'm going with,
it just wasn't right.
I could have been happy with all of those guys I dated, but we wouldn't have been happy together.


So no, I'm not upset about being the primer girlfriend, because I'm totally content with knowing that when it's right, I'll be just as happy as them someday. #EternalOptimist

There's no point in settling. It shouldn't be forced, it will be easy and it will be hard too. Falling in love is fun, scary and a whole other group of emotions, but the most fun with be falling in love with the right person. Until then... <3

25 comments:

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  14. NikeLab drops two new Pinnacle versions of the Air Max 1 that comes in your choice of White Nike Factory Store or Black.These Nike Air Max 1 releases come constructed with a premium leather upper with a White air-cushioned midsole that’s either dressed in a monochromatic White or Black upper. Both Nike Air Max 2017 shoes are finished with a matching translucent rubber outsole with Nike branding.Take a closer look at both these Nike Air Max 1 Pinnacle releases below and find them available now kobe bryant shoes through select NikeLab retail stores like NYC’s KITH. The retail price tag is set at $160 USD.
    Kobe Bryant’s alter ego, the Black Mamba is on full display with this Nike Store Nike Kobe 11 Green Snake colorway.This brand new Nike Kobe 11 comes dressed in a full unique graphic design covering the entire upper. The shoe is dressed in a combination Nike Air Max of Black and Green tones that includes a Metallic Silver Nike Swoosh on the the sides. But the highlight of the shoe is a large Mamba Snake logo overlaying the Nike Outlet Store Black snakeskin textured heel.Check out the additional images below and look for this kids exclusive Nike Kobe 11 “Green Snake” to release on Monday, August 8th at select Nike Basketball Kobe shoes retail stores. The retail price tag is set at $135 USD.
    Kobe Bryant’s Nike Kobe 11 will be releasing in a few Nike Kobe 11 Team colorways, which will include Nike Shoes this White and Blue pair.While an official release date has yet to be unveiled. It appears this this Nike Kobe 11 has already started hitting select Foot Locker House of nike free trainer 5.0 Hoops location.The shoe features a clean all-White mesh upper with Blue detailing the Nike Flywire cables, inner liner, tongue and Nike Swoosh logos. Finishing off the look is an icy Lebron James Shoes translucent outsole.You can expect to see this Nike Kobe 11 Team colroway in White and Blue slowly start hitting your local stores soon. Be on the lookout for them to kevin durant shoes become available in the coming days on Nike.com.
    Moving into Fall, Nike Sportswear releases their latest Mayfly silhouette with the release of this Nike Mayfly Woven Triple Black colorway.This Nike KD shoes

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