Pink In The Rink - The Event

Months of planning. Weeks of preparation, anticipation, interviews, and promoting. All cultivating in a fabulous night for an incredible cause. Its come, its gone, and I wouldn't change a single thing.

When I first got the call to be a part of this event, it wasn't even a question that it was a huge honor and that I was going to do everything in my power to be available and to help make it a success. I knew it would be time consuming but it wasn't about me as an individual it was about what I could do to help people on a MUCH larger scale. Realistically this wasn't about my dad and I, this wasn't about the Pete's, this was about doing everything in my power to use my past experiences to help raise money so that no one would have to go through what I have been through. Its not fun, and its nothing that anyone should have to deal with. Not the patient, not their friends and family, no one. So for me, if someone said jump, I said "How freaking high?"

I also knew doing this event was going to be a risk for me personally. I was risking hurting my mom's feelings because I knew she would feel left out and unappreciated. However, for me, it was still something I wanted to do because this isn't about us, this is about Women's Health and all of the people I could help by getting involved. The theme was Daddy's Girls, and so while promoting it, it focused on my relationship with my dad. If the theme was Mommy's girls, then that would have been a different story and because we were working with the Pete's, my dad's hockey alma mater, that too would alienate my mother. I was right and she was very offended, felt unappreciated and reinforced why having divorced parents who do not get along is not fun for anybody. There are two sides to every story and the truth but this wasn't about her. This was also something I decided to do for me, and anyone who I could help, because this last diagnosis is realistically the first time I have openly talked about what I have gone through. My mom was a HUGE part of my recovery and with out her, I would most likely not be here. My sister and she were there for the worst of times and with out them I would not be the woman I am today. So in honor of Women's health, I thank them for being there for me to shape me into the woman I am today.

The MAIN Event:
It was fabulous. I got to do a couple interviews before the game. One radio, and one TV. I was so nervous. I then found out we would be doing the puck drop too. I whispered to my dad before we went out "Do NOT let me fall" lol. I could totally picture myself pulling a JLAW circa Oscars 2013.

There was an opening ceremonies which included a video BrandHealth did, which was incredible. The gist was Heaven, with angels awaiting my arrival.... 2003, "Nope She's not coming" 2006 ... "Nope, Still Not coming." 2008 "Ok She's still not coming whats going on?" 2013- "Ok Clearly she doesnt want to come" .... Its the perfect metaphor because I wont give up my fight against cancer. I wont give up the fight for other people battling cancer and being their voice.

Everything went swimmingly, no falls. I then got to rush around the rink during the game, because so many friends and family and co workers came to support me and I couldn't have been happier. This night was not only a fundraiser to support women's health, but personally a celebration that I was ok. I may have even had a date this night, but this is for a later post, because I know you're all DYING to know why I haven't posted lately.

The event raised around $40,000 and I am ecstatic. After the game, we got to go down to the ice with the team to take pics on the ice. In true Courtney fashion... I ran... in 4" heeled boots with my honorary Pink in the Rink Jersey on. I was a little too eager. As I darted across the ice, I just about made it until at the last minute I felt my heel slip out from under me and I knew the inevitable was coming. Yoga balance or whatever, I just about caught myself, along with the goalie's lap. I figured this would be a good spot for my place in the pic and had a soaking wet bum the rest of the night.

After the arena we went to Spanky's where we had quite the after party. It didn't take long for Britney to come on and me to end up on the bar. Here are the pics from the night. Thank you to everyone who was a huge support. TO the people who supported me through the nerve wracking press interviews (which turned out to lead to something fabulous... but again more on that later) and to everyone who came out and donated. I'm truly touched by your generosity and am so proud and humbled by everyone who helped aid in the fight to support women's health!
(My assistant for the evening who kept me on track! Thank You C)

(Some Friends, Epic Boss, and more friends)

(Some Adorable Mini Fans!)

(Dad and I with Danielle from Energy 99.7 and Country 105.1- and then Britney's "Toxic" on the Bar)

Little did I realize how much this event would change my life. I say everything happens for a reason, and it does. I would not have been able to be a part of this with out my diagnosis of cervical cancer. I would not have gotten to do all of the press interviews and I would not have gotten to meet someone who has turned my world upside down, in the best way possible.
Everything does happen for a reason and although I repeat it constantly....

First Weekend Home *SURPRISE PARTY*

Coming home was nothing short of easy. It was actually a pain in my tush. So that first night crawling in my bed was.... heaven. We unloaded the car and I got to see Bella, our Weimeraner. Dexter settled right in, it was almost weird (but then again my cat's a genius). We got in on the Thursday night and little by little people started to figure out I was home. I was half keeping it a secret because I was still pretty sick and half because I wanted time to get settled in. Well because apparently my cat's smarter than me, I posted a facebook status:

Now this is the edited version, but brilliant little me forgot to turn off the location feature originally. So when it popped up as "Gananoque Ontario" people got suspicious. I got it down with in twenty minutes, but rumors spread faster than herpes in the red light district. Friday I slept my life away but my bossman contacted me about potentially working a shift on the Sunday. I. Was. Ecstatic! He played it perfect, something along the lines of someone bailed and he had to work last Sunday and he could do it if I couldn't but he was pretty desperate. Not that he even needed to try that hard, I was jumping up and down at the word shift. I didn't think much of it.

Saturday, after begging and pleading with my dad and his special Lady that I was a competent driver they finally caved to let me borrow one of the vehicles. My dad went with every lie in the book to avoid it though,

"Uhhh My hockey equipment wont fit in Claudette's car, so I have to take the truck."

Ummm I wasn't born yesterday and she doesn't drive a smart car so I think it will fit. Eventually Claudette let me borrow hers to go to a friend's party that to be honest, I was super looking forward too!

The party was a blast! I met some really, really fun people and saw people I haven't seen in years. Learned how to play a new drinking game... "Titties" I think (I didn't actually play but I'll bet I would have taken the cake.) I danced to Britney (I'm glad that most people missed that one hahaah) and even tried to dance with a person. (I should just not be allowed to dance.) I tried a venison dip...

"Ummm Court, you know there is deer meat in that right?"

After a few more hours of debating whether or not to try it because I felt bad eating Bambi, I caved because I was starving, and it was actually pretty good. It was fun, it was exactly what I needed and was a good reminder that even when things don't go perfect or as planned they still have a way of working out. (Shorts Strings? HAHAHAHA)

The next morning everyone was up, we had some left over turkey, watched sports center and then I got the messages about my shift. I was excited to work, but bummed about leaving the party. Apparently they went tobogganing... behind 4wheelers. (OMG- SO Jealous!) Little did I realize... this wouldn't even be a worry once I knew what I was missing it for.

*Thats the bossman representing HARD* ::Thumbs Up::

This should have been a dead give away but I was so excited to have a shift I didn't notice. I came home and got ready. I had a little bit of a hangover, and my weekend was just starting. I joked about calling in sick, but I've maybe done that twice in my life, so it would have never happened. I think I asked my dad and Claudette about a 100x if I looked ok. I wanted to look not only good for my first shift back, first time seeing everybody, but I wanted to look great and most of all... not sick or like I had been. I went all out, extensions and all!

Claudette had a work Christmas party and so I didn't think twice about she and my dad dressing up.

I should have thought twice about them giving me cab money to get home instead of letting me borrow a car. Another dead give away. After we dropped Claudette off, my dad began to drive me to work. Feeling the hangover I was like

"Ugh Now I kind of wish I didn't have to work. Wouldn't it just be nice if it was like a surprise party or something awesome like that."

I was completely kidding, because I honestly never thought it would happen. My dad had the perfect response

"HAH, yeah right kid, like that would happen."

I believed him. We pulled in across the street which I also should have thought was weird because my dad doesn't follow the rules at Spank's and parks in their private lot. According to him

"I'm V.I.P."

I just assumed it was because he was dropping me off. We got out of the car and I saw 1/3 of my bosses and one of the bouncers, E, walking in. I also saw nobody inside which I thought was odd, but I figured it was still early. I hugged them, and they seemed not as excited to see me as I originally hoped they would be. I later found out it was because they were late and thought they had ruined the surprise. Nope, I was oblivious.

They all let me walk in first and when I walked in the door it was a blur. It all happened so fast and so slow at the same time. So many things were just "off" and there was so much to process that my chemo brain was on overdrive. I was freaking out in the car that I wouldn't remember what Beer we had on tap, yet this was a whole other ball game of

"why isn't my brain working fast enough to figure this out."

I saw balloons. Lots of balloons (I just assumed the balloons were for the Christmas party I was told I was going to be working.) My manager K was just standing to the right of the bar, by himself. It was weird because he was just standing there, and just seemed like he was waiting for something. I went to hug him, and then saw people crouching behind the bar. Still not even processing what was going on, because my mind was jumping from balloons, to manager, to beer taps (I needed to know for my shift) then to behind the bar. When I finally focused in on the dozens of people behind the bar, they jumped and screamed

"SURPRISE, Welcome Home!"

All I remember while all of this was taking place was thinking,

"Something's not right, Something's not right. I'm so confused."

I started shaking and all I could manage to say was

"Ummmm I guess this means I'm not working????"

"Wait, is this for me?"

As if the chalkboard that said "Welcome Home Courtney" wasn't a clue. People began to swarm me with hugs and my thoughts changed to

"Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry!"

I actually went into shock.

"OMG is this actually happening? OMG Happy tears are coming!"

I didn't even register that my bestie and personal trainer A was sitting at a table! Someone I once worked with told me

"Courtney's like an ambulance, you hear her coming before you ever see her!"

hahah E, could not have been more accurate with a description of me! I think I tackled A. It was funny too because she had been messaging me while I was in the car asking about what I was up too. You sneaky bugger!

There was Cake and flowers and I tried eggnog for the first time. O outdid herself there.

SO many people came that I was so excited to see. It was like surprise after surprise after surprise. I had a couple drinks, and was just loving catching up with everyone.

So both my parents are really awesome and they know everything that goes on in my life. It's why I let my dad read my blogs and probably don't have a filter. Like I can talk about anything with my parentals and I love that.

Anyway, the party from the night before was at a guys house whom I've been talking too for a while, we've known each other for YEARS, but hadn't seen each other in years up until this past summer. So he had been texting me this night asking about work and if I was there yet, if it served food, etc. Basically questions that seemed completely unaware that something was up other than me going to work. I was at the back of the bar talking to some people when I turned around and saw three hotties walk in. I think my heart fell out of my chest. I turned around, jaw dropped and cupped my face. I couldn't believe my eyes because a whole new set of shock waves engulfed my body. Was I hallucinating because he doesn't exactly live in town, and this just seemed too good to be true, not plausible and did I mention I was concerned I was hallucinating? I ran and hugged him and actually think there may have been jumping up and down, more hands over mouth in shock and then a

"WHAT! (Super loud pitched)..What are you doooing here? (Girly, shocked whiny cutesy sounding)"

I didn't give him a chance to finish before the whole

"Don't cry, Don't cry, Don't cry"

mantra came flooding back into my mind. It was just too much excitement to handle, the surprises were legit going to put me over the edge. I was still cupping my face when I couldn't contain the excitement and shock any longer and was like

"Oh my gosh I'm sorry I need a second"

turned around, paced a few steps trying to process what was happening and then I think I hugged him and the other two guys again. It was then that I realized the other two, had also brought their special ladies and that was when I officially lost it! I basically had developed girl crushes on them the night before and was just in awe that they had come too! Hugs galore and my night had officially just hit EPIC status. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, that happened. I asked how he knew about my party, and he told me something along the lines of this... and Dad #ForTheWin!

"Well your dad actually found me on facebook and messaged me telling me about it. I first saw the message from JD pop up and my first reaction was '$#!% What did I do?' but then I read it and he told me about it."

My mind was blown, because this meant they had known all along at the party the previous night, and that morning, and not a soul had given it away! We did shots and we drank and if ever there was a moment to forget about all the $#!%%y stuff that had happened to me the previous months... tonight did just that and then some!

Unfortunately they had to work the next morning and couldn't stay but my night was full of more surprises. I continued to see people I hadn't seen in what felt like forever and felt so incredibly blessed. I didn't even mind how hungover I was the next two days because every second of the previous weekend had been worth it. My body knew I needed this... I can be as positive, and try to be as healthy as I want to be, but deep down, I'm still a 25 year old girl who has had years ripped away from her. I don't feel guilty for a little fun and my body felt better just long enough for me to enjoy this weekend. I can't thank the people involved enough, because honestly words will never describe how grateful I was for every second. For the people who weren't invited, my dad did the best he could and hey I didn't even know, so I couldn't have invited ya. For the best bosses ever who did give me a real shift a few days later... thank you thank you thank you! I know I'm one blessed little cookie and I don't forget it for a second.
*Managers and other sign I failed to notice upon arrival*

*1/3 of the bossmen- He even played me Britney, which in all my excitement took me one minute too long to realize!*

Thank you Claudette and Daddio- You guys rock!

The morning/ arrival home. Worth every second of the hangover... but the drinking has ceased, (at least until New Years and then will prob take a hiatus for a bit.)

So thank you to everyone! I made new friends, saw old ones and was reminded why this is my home! If my mom and sis had have been there this night would have just been over the moon. I don't think I would have been able to handle any more surprises though!
For those wondering- the first REAL shift back was a blast! Saw others I hadn't seen in too long and just... what a week home.
The only words I have are THANK YOU~
p.S. Also got my Scrapbook from the event held at Spankys. I can't wait to read it! <3 *First Shift Back* (Getting ready and then rocking out to Britney in the car on my way there!)

*Some more pics from the party*

Heavenly Laze before Surgery Craze

Sunday Funday became a Sunday Lazy day.

I woke up not feeling well. I couldn't sleep last night because I was up all night with a stuffy nose. The kind that you just can't blow and is stuck up all in your head. So when I finally did sleep, I slept all day. My mum and I had a girls day planned but it was put on halt. It was good though because she got one of her homework assignments done. (She's in school online to upgrade her degree.)

I hung out all day with my sis in the living room. I think she was recovering from Peach Fest where she went to see Lotus. I watched "Stepbrothers" with Will Ferrell and it was hilarious, as well as "Just Go With It" with Adam Sandler and Jen Aniston. I needed a chill day where I didn't have to think and spending it with Natter Batter was the icing on the cake.

Thats when my mum reminded me I would help her with her assignment. Power point anyone? UGH how I don't miss those, but my mum was so excited when I finished it for her. Hmmm assisted her, in case her prof reads this ::wink wink::. Hahah Nah jk she's a smart cookie.


Today was another chill day. I have my surgery tomorrow and my game face is on. Mummeth made my favorite dinner (Almond crusted salmon.) Its actually so good. We then went to Target. I would definitely consider it one of my happy places. We needed new sheets for my bedroom. My sister when she crawled into bed with me this morning said

"Courtney, we really are the typical blonde vs. brunette siblings. I walk into your room and there is so much light. Everything is white, its like I'm in Heaven."

Hahah Her room has deep dark brown walls and mine have white crown molding half way up with a very light grey. Her windows let no light in because of the deep brown suede curtains and mine are white sheer. She has dark mahogany furniture and I have white. Tonight at Targert, we got a white eyelet duvet and sheets I've been wanting which are very cottage chic. We went with the pink sheets to mix it up a bit. Dexter looks just stunning laying on my bed, not that he didn't before but he loves the new look.

We got home from target and I scrubbed down in the shower. I chatted for a bit with the crush, he's kind of a babe, just the sweetest. I had to pound fluids until midnight. I hate NPO (Nothing by mouth), and had left over salmon right at 11:45. I also indulged in a little carrot cake. While doing something upstairs this afternoon, my mum and I didn't even hear what we have dubbed "The Carrot Cake Bandit." This person snuck in, left two pieces on the counter and disappeared with out a trace. Whomever you are, thank you for enabling my addiction ;)

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I have my surgery. Its at 8:30 am. We leave the house at 6:30 and I wait. I'll be awake through the procedure (sedated but awake.) They do this so they don't hit any nerves in my spine or something like that. (I'm not impressed by the sound of this). I told them I didn't want to know that much about it beforehand because to be honest I'm scared $#!%less. That time I awoke from surgery at Toronto Sick Kids has me scarred and the panic attacks are getting ready to come out and play in full force. It will be interesting.

Until then, I'm in bed, cozy in my new sheets. Reading the new Cosmo and Shape and ready to rock and roll. It will be go time. I will be scared but I can do this. One step closer to starting treatment. One step closer to living my life again, to get back to being... me.

The Lazy Days before The Radiation Rayz

The last few days....

Have been really great. I've completely not thought about being sick. My Surgery got moved from next Wednesday to Tuesday and so therefore, I have a few days off to just... be. I told myself I was going to relax and that is exactly what I've done.

Where did we leave off....
*To be completely honest, the days are jumbled in my mind. So I've got stories.. but they may be out of order.*

I GOT HOT ROLLERS! I'm so excited. While visiting K in Kingston last time, she introduced me to her friend who is a hairstylist. He did my hair with hot rollers, Big Hair for a Big Personality. I was #OBSESSED. (yes I just hashtagged it) So I got my own. The ones he used on me were IMPOSSIBLE to find. Legit, I can't even find them on the intranet. (Not even the internet but the intranet.) I got wannabe's but I think I was semi successful!
F-> Professional

And my version (which is from Saturday night dinner with friends):

I think the whole point of the hairstyle is BIG SEX ME hair. It's my favorite look, I mean who doesn't want to feel like a VS angel.

So, on I think Thursday, the madre, seestor and I hung out. We went to dinner at "On The Border", or off the Border... heck I don't know, we were in the restaurant so I'll just say we were in the Border. I was once again obsessing over salsa. We were all in top notch moods because legit everything seemed funny. My mum was in the back seat and my sister was driving.

"Mom- stop making farting noises with your hands!"

yelled Nat.

My mum, was clearly disappointed after her

"LOOK what I can do"

exclamation!

Natalie turned up her Ipod and Lotus was playing. We joke that its my favorite band, although its a big hippie band that doesn't sing. Personally, I like lyrics in my music. BUT I "liked" the band and really wanted to go to a concert with her because... ok Backstory:

I had gone on a date with the HOTTEST guy. We met on match and he had been in Italian Vogue. (I didn't know this prior to the date and yes I googled as soon as I got home). Anyway, he loved Lotus and so when I found out both he and my sister were going to the show, I begged her to take me. The running joke then became how they were my "favorite" band. Long story short, she didn't take me, because "I'm not going to take a ticket away from someone who actually wants to be there!"- Damn hippies.

She was conveniently going to see them again this weekend. While reiterating that

"I just don't understand how they don't sing and have lyrics, its so weird."

Nat said...

"COURTNEY! You don't understand. Lotus is the essence of my being- I'm going to sit during their set and cry!"

Haha I laughed and was like ok dude. Its quite the coincidence because an old crush (who I chat with all the time) and I got on the topic of Lotus the following night and how our siblings were super into them. He was all like

"My bro wont stop asking about your sister, The 4 of us should totally hit up a show."

::Palm to forehead, with shaking of head motion:: It never ends. I joked that Natalie should take me this weekend with her, I mean I had the time off and why not experience a hippie festival. My mom supported me and was like

"Natalie! Take and include your sister!"

To which Natalie brought up a very valid point.

"Could you imagine her drinking for 12 Hours?"

I was like

"I could totally last all day!"

Natalie then won the argument with

"K, Thats what most men say and they are LIARS!"

Touche Nat. Well played! In the end though, she wish she had taken me. She stayed with a friend who had a foot fetish. No lie, loves feet. My mum and I couldn't let her live this one down, so we proceeded to send her pics of our feet all night. She ended up sleeping on a pull out couch, and almost being forced to leave the concert early. Should have Let me gooo :)

*I've been drawing the arrow tattoo on places to see how I feel about it.*

We went to On or Off the border and I got my salsa. It was GLORIOUS. Mum and I had margaritas and it was just fun to be out with the fam jam. So many funny things happen, and like its just an experience. I feel like I'm always laughing which is good, because I've been stressed about starting radiation. We're deciding on where we want to radiate. Just the pelvis or the abdomen as well. If we radiate the abdomen and pelvis, then we don't have to worry about doing the biopsy of the lymph nodes. However, there are more complications and risks with more radiation. The radiation could trigger my bone marrow to relapse and so the less the better. However if my lymph nodes are positive then we need to radiate them, so we'll only know conclusively with the biopsy. Its scary thinking that treatment for one disease could lead to the relapse of another disease. As someone told me

"The Cancer is just going to have to learn to leave you alone, It hasn't won a single battle and it is sure as hell not going to win the war so it should stop trying."

I've gotten to chat with a few old friends this week too through facebook and catch up with them. One of which, her mom has recently beat cervical cancer. It was nice to talk to her because she had a different insight than someone in the medical field. I asked her about side effects and of course vaginal dilators. We talked a lot too about age differences and how they relate to this experience. It sucks having to go through this as a rare case, i.e. being so damn young, because no body will completely understand what I'm going through. Old women can say they do, but ultimately they got to enjoy their sexual prime. I'm supposed to be just getting started. She and I had a bunch of laughs, and it was so nice to talk to her. She told me

"I"m just going to start calling you Bobo like the clown, because every time something punches you down, you get right back up!"

On Friday, I got a call from Cooper's Psych department. Dr. D insisted I get someone to talk too. My referral finally went though and they called to get a few facts so that could match me with the best possible doc. The guy was really cool and nice over the phone but I didn't want to do this. I felt like, if I was admitting to someone that I should talk to someone, then it was because I'm weak and cannot handle it on my own. I know this is not the case, but as I've said before,

"Your mind can be your worst enemy."

He asked me

"Why do you need to see a psychologist?"

to which I replied,

"Umm because my doctor told me I had too."

The guy laughed and it lightened the mood. I had just gotten out of the shower and was sitting on my bed in a white towel still soaking wet. I tried to brush through my hair while we went over the questions,

"How are you sleeping? How is your appetite? Are you in pain? What meds are you on? Have you seen a therapist before? Are you depressed? Do you have thoughts of harming yourself? Do you feel like living is worthwhile? Do you have a healthy outlet? Do you abuse drugs and/or alcohol?"

It took about a half an hour and I was glad to be done. I like the fact they do the pre-screen because its not like you'll connect with every shrink, so at least this way they can find someone on the same page as me.

Friday was awesome too, because I got to see my mum's ex boyfriends' daughters. They were like little sisters to me and drove down from Princeton. We went for lunch and it was so weird because the little girls I went to the Britney Spears concert with, were now 15 and 20. How can I feel so old and so young all at once is crazy. We went for lunch and caught up and it was just so nice to get out of the house with someone who wasn't my mom or sister. They were such a breath of fresh air and got me the cutest bracelets which I'm now officially obsessed with. I love those girlies! (The one says "Young and Strong" and the other says "Positivity"- I don't know how they could be anymore fitting!)

Later that night my mum and I drove to drop her vehicle off at the dealer for an oil change. On the way back we went to pick up take out. It was fun, jamming in the car with mom. We went and got buffalo shrimp and they were amazing. I was once again craving the spice, and we mowed down. We played dress up at some point too, because I was in the mood for country. Its just a country girl thing, and probably the fact the Havelock Jamboree is this weekend and a ton of my friends are there. I texted my bestie K and was like, read the lyrics to this song. It describes me and my main weakness (in men)." It was "Ladies Love Country Boys" by Trace Adkins. I don't think I need to post the lyrics for you to catch the gist. "Pontoon" by Little Big Town came on too. That is my JAM from last summer, I rocked out. Obviously.

I didn't blog Friday night because I'm reading "Rules of Civility" by Amor Towles and I'm loving it. I also talked to the crush for a few hours. :) I won't lie, I have two crushes right now, and this one doesn't know I'm sick. He does know I'm blogging but not what about. Although he knows about my past health issues, I feel like I'm lying, but don't know why I need to tell him... right now. It's not that I'm ashamed or embarrassed of what I'm going through, but how he'll react makes me nervous. I could give him some credit and test his character by seeing how he'll react, but I risk being exposed to human nature. If he runs and hides then it is just a confirmation of how scary my situation is, and how much I would really rather not be dealing with it. It validates the fact, that being with someone in my predicament sucks just as much for them as it does for me. I guess I never worried about these things when I had leukemia because I was in a serious relationship with someone who loved me, and I knew they didn't care about my being sick, because they just wanted me, in any capacity. Now, I'm a package deal. You can have me, but you also have to have this list of things that suck and can hinder any number of things that normal couples do. Even the simple things... like go out to dinner. I won't know how I'm going to be feeling. The last few days I've been getting worse and worse. Its easy to hide fatigue with make up, and pain with a smile. But eventually that wont be so easy. So by me not telling him, is he my escape. My way to feel normal and connected to the inner 25 year old in me who so desperately wants to pretend like this is no big deal. If that's true... is it wrong? Maybe pretending to be normal isn't the worst thing, because then I won't lose touch of what its like to be "normal" and when I am better will be better able to quickly get back into the swing of things. ::Wishful Thinking::

Saturday I slept in. I woke up with a stuffy nose, sore throat, and what felt like a UTI. It was a reminder that yes, you're sick, and weak. My mum told me to stay in bed, but I knew she needed to go and pick up her car, so I took one for the team. We went to Starbucks to get me a frozen hot chocolate but it just wasn't the same. After we went and got her car we went and got our nails done. Or as they say in jersey... "Get our nails did." At least if I can't feel like a woman, I can feel girly. The Dallas vs. Arizona preseason football game was on and it was so nice to relax, get pampered and watch the game. It really is incredible how bad Dallas sucks, thank god its preseason for them, but even still, its doubtful they'll get any better. I mean really, FOUR turnovers in the first half. Poor Romo, should have stuck with golf. I just can't wait for the regular season to start and am stoked that if I have to be in the states, its at least during football season. *Haha only I talk about wanting to feel girly- and watching football in the same paragraph. Yup, I'm still me*

*Oh and for the record, one of my ALL TIME favorite tv shows starts Sept 4th. HOLLA to the LEAGUE.

Later that night my mum and I went for dinner with a really good childhood friend's mum and sister. I hadn't seen them since probably middle school. N, (my friend) is in San Fran and couldn't come but I got to facetime her. Her sis and I were talking about boobs and she was like

"You should see N's!"

I was like

"OMG REALLY? I'm totally going to ask her to show me on facetime!"

haha Oohhh how I haven't changed a bit. They got me the most gorgeous necklace. It's so me, and I'm already excited for another night out, so I can dress up and wear it. I've actually been spoiled this week, which has no lie, not sucked because next week will. We caught up on everything, our pets, families, old stories, new stories, TV. My mum brought up how she is like Penny from the Big Bang Theory because she works with some crazy intelligent people. She ended it perfectly with a story about her coworker from Bali.

"I was like OMG, next time you go to Bali (pronounced: Bah-Lee) I'm totally going with you."

I was like

"Ummm mum, do you mean Bali (prounounced Bawl-ee)?"

hhahaha I haven't been able to stop ripping on her. As my sister would say

"You're prettttty!"

On the car ride home, I pulled a total Courtney moment. While at dinner we obviously caught up on relationships past. I was showing them pictures on my phone, because... well lets just say some of their personalities made their physical descriptions much less appealing. While showing them my one ex, I accidentally clicked the "like" button on facebook for the pic. As we were in the car driving home I got a facebook notification

"S has liked your picture."

I clicked to see what picture and was like "OMFG!" It couldn't be a coincidence that she liked that EXACT picture that was over 3 years old just out of the blue. The SAME picture that I just so happened to be showing them tonight. I went into panic mode until another facebook notification came in.

"R has liked your pic."

At this point I knew I must have accidentally posted it to my wall or have done something. I instantly private messaged R and was like

"Hey.... (explained story)... So is it showing up in your newsfeed?"

She was like

"Yes, OMG I can unlike it, I just thought it was a pretty pic."

I was like no no, no worries. He was tagged in the picture so he was getting these notifications too. The damage had been done. Well, now he knows I was talking about him, or at least looking at our pics. ::Palm to head, again, shakes head:: Damn blonde moments.

We came home and I crawled into bed. I'm pooped. My friends have totally stepped up again this week. People, you totally wouldn't have expected. People checking in, people showing they care. When my psychologist pre screener asked me

"How are your support systems? Do you have a lot of social support?"

It was probably the only question I could answer with a resounding

"Absof***ing-lutely YES!"