Pink in the Rink - Canadian Cancer Society and the Petes- Press Week!

There are those days where you wonder, what is the meaning of life? Does my life have meaning? Am I just exhausted and/or being philosophical. This week, I kind of feel awesome because I feel like my life has meaning. I'm exhausted and completely out of my element but having so much fun!

Ok but all jokes aside, when you can take your circumstances and turn them into something positive, thats what really living life is all about. For me, I've been given the honor of being an honorary co-chair of the Peterborough Petes and Canadian Cancer Society's 5th Annual Pink in the Rink event on February 6th. I'm being given the opportunity to help promote and support a cause that has not only affected me greatly, but to give back and potentially help people so they don't have to go through what I have been through. This is giving meaning to an experience that has quite frankly sucked. Even if I help one person, this will all have been worth it!

The theme is Daddy's Girls. So my other honorary co-chair is none other than my good old pops. It's awesome because he played for the Pete's and NHL so combining the two of us (because I'm a huge Daddy's Girl) and Hockey (because he's a hockey player) and Cancer (because well I kind of have experience in that field) is the perfect metaphorical fusion.

So we started out with a press tour of sorts to announce the theme "Daddy's Girls" and the honorary Co-Chairs.

While waiting to get started, I was pretty nervous. That morning, I had no idea what to wear, what to say, and my dad completely color coordinated with me... his idea!

Everything went really well, and I got to meet a bunch of really cool people. It was quite the experience. They unveiled the Peterborough Pete's (Which is Peterborough's OHL Hockey team) PitR T-shirts which are really nice! (See above)
I got to do some awesome interviews which turned out really great. Here are some of the articles...

Peterborough This Week

Sports Xpress

The Peterborough Examiner

Go Petes Go

We got a Chex News Segment which can be seen here:

and a few radio interviews. The one with Miles Gibney which one can be heard here.
I wish I could post all of the radio interviews because the one with Bill Porter and Mel Hannah on Energy 99.7 was so much fun. We were also on Country 105.1. Despite the 7:30 am wake up- it was really cool to get into the studio and see how its done.

Soooo there was lots going on.
Here are some pictures from the press conference:
(Pictures courtesy of Dale Clifford from the Peterborough Examiner)

So after all of this fun jazz I got to go to a Pete's Game to meet some people and do another radio interview on Extra 90.5 with David Foot and Colin Teskey for the Petes Tailgate show. That was a blast because I got to bring my friend Caprice with me, or as we joke- my mini me/psuedo sister. We got to actually watch the game which was kind of a nice break. Veggies, hockey, wine and boys- My kind of night!

Then... there was the commercial. BrandHealth was nice enough to shoot a commercial for us. They gave us a FABULOUS creative team and we got to work. I met with them the Monday before the press conference to go over the concepts and scripts. I can honestly say after this entire process, I have so much more respect for anything film, tv related, its not even funny!

I was so nervous on my way to the commercial... trying to memorize my lines... again.

I will update with a clip of the commercial when it becomes available.

UPDATED: Here is Commercial!!!!

So we got to film at my highschool Lakefield College School which was so much more reassuring because it felt like home. That place was where some of my most crucial developmental years were taken from me by disease and they still managed to make some of the best memories of my life happen, including my graduation. I honestly have a connection with that place that is beyond describable and of all the privileges in my life, being able to attend there is pretty high on that list.

I got to bring lots of clothing changes...

I got to visit a few teachers and staff, but wish I had more time to go and visit more. I'll be back soon.

The shoot was amazing. I got to work with Denise Oucharek (She was the lady in the Philadelphia Cream Cheese commercials!) I was so intimidated because she totally knew what she was doing and I could barely remember my 5 lines. #Starstruck. Everyone made it so much easier for me, which is great because it probably wasn't easy working with an amateur.

At the end of the day we got the shot...I hope. We had to improvise with a few things but I'm hoping it came out ok. I can't wait to see it.

Oh and because its me: My mic didn't even need a mic holder... lets just say I had a built in pair ;)

I still have another press conference and a voice over for another commercial to do but all in all, I'm so excited and can't wait for this event!

Here is the event page to donate to Daddy's Girls.

To buy tickets.... February 6th against the Oshawa Generals and make sure to use the Promo Code "PINK" so that 4$ from each ticket goes to the cause!!!

There will be silent auctions, chuck a puck, bucket passes, and tshirt sales, plus hockey- I mean hello thats a lot of fun!
Some of the Jerseys from the last four years.

I really wanted to be more detailed with this post but this is basically the end result of my week... NEED SLEEP.

and I am working on the updates from all of my doc appointments this week in philly! I'll be flying home tomorrow!

Cant wait and remember to follow @SassyBlondeCBG on Twitter for up to date posts on whats going on, pics and all around fun.

Thanks for all the support everyone! This event is going to be a HUGE success because of all your support and that means the world to me, and Daddy's and their girls every where dealing with Women's Health Issues.

I'll leave you with this, because it has been my philosophy through this journey....

I had to miss the second day of the commercial shoot because my body basically shut down for the week. I felt terrible, because my biggest fear is letting people down, but my best friend K, sent me this and reminded me, that I'm still in recovery. I can't do it all. I'm trying and I want too but I have to be careful. J, my guru love reminded me that

"Yes you want to do your best and be your best.. But.. Are you at your absolute best at this moment? No, you're healing. Being authentic is the best way to live your life. Live with truth and purpose. It's ok if you're not 100%."

So I'm going to continue to try and be the best, but be gentle with myself in the process.

Love and Light!
xoxox
C


*All of the slightly darker texts are links. When you click it will take you to the site in which it is referring too, or personal twitter accounts for the media and their people mentioned.*

Onwards and Upwards- Fly in the Sky

Kids' on leashes... check! 30 Mile detours as the result of going old school with printed directions instead of google maps.... check! Double checking with the security guard that it's ok to have a belly button ring in the scanner machine, only to have the rest of the security guards laugh and exclaim

"It's going to be a belly button ring kind of day boys"

.... check! In my defense that machine is scary as hell looking and I've been in enough MRI machines to know that metal and magnets don't go well together. I think it was a perfectly fair question. YUP- this is me trying to navigate an airport by myself.
Packing and leaving my baby and lil sis.

 

(Forcing dad to stop for a starbs pee break and admiring the fact that I actually threw on matching clothes at 6am.)

SO my phone died on the way to the airport. YAY for having it fully charged because we needed those google maps. So now I'm camped out on the floor... because it was the only outlet I could find to charge my phone, which ironically I can't even use, but who knows when you'll need some solitaire or yahtzee to pass the time.

 Oh and lets be real, we all know I'm trying to get a pic of the kid on the leash. I mean who does that? (Actually I'm sure lots of people do that, because losing a kid would be scary and chasing them would be annoying and yes I'm about to compare children to pets, but we put them on leashes right?) Thank goodness for noise cancelling headphones (J, you're a lifesaver) because this kid and I are not going to get along on this flight. Why can't parentals give their kid a benadryl like people do with their pets? Seems logical to me. (Full of maternal instincts this one -_-) 

Now that I'm settled and recharging, the panic attacks about my luggage are starting to set in. My suitcase is vintage ghetto fabulous. It says Bonjour around it repeatedly, which more than makes up for the lack of quality, because hello, its Parisian (Actually its more of a french thing but Parisian sounds cooler. It's not even french it just says a french word, but it excites me.) Sigh... someday.

 

But my suitcase, missing a few handles, tears, broken zippers and I don't have a TSA lock. Most likely they're going to search my bag which I managed to pack like a pro. But I can just imagine how my vibrators, bullets and ben wa balls are going to look under Xray. This is how profesh my packing was, I even remembered to take out a battery from each B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) just so that they wouldn't accidentally turn on. But I'm sure anything resembling small balls or a phallus will trigger some sort of red flag. I'm starting to think it may not have been the wisest of ideas to leave my bright red bra right on top, that may illicit some probing.
(Staring out at the luggage loading... getting nervous) 

Captain Mike and Mark and SASSY Tim (how the captain introduced him which made my life), my flight attendant. Not a full flight, so I have both seats to my self. Things are looking up! Oh did I mention there is a top notch 6'5 Hottie, one row behind me and on the opposite of the aisle. Guaranteed he's going to catch me staring. (What... I'm a single 20 something.) But honestly, I just want to hang out with sassy Tim.
(Sneak shot of either Mark or Mike, not sure.)

 

(Celeb Styles- I may have been getting bored at this point.)

(Thinking about either how low the window is, or how tall I am. Also, just thinking... when you're in the sky, your mind just wants to fly)

SO this week. Doctors. Doctors. Doctors. I've had a month to feel like me again and it's been amazing. I've had my ups and downs and every other emotional experience I could muster the energy up for. I fan-girled over a guy (legit I was convinced we were going to fall in love because a. He was taller than me, and b. he had excellent taste in sports teams.) But actually, I. Fan. Girled. Think tween at a One Direction concert because of sports. (I apologize to those who had to listen/watch me fangirl that night- I was sleep deprived!)

My dad's girlfriend so eloquently put it while I was screaming at the TV during wildcard football games, mowing down on wings, and referring to relationships as "unnecessary"....

"Courtney- you should have been a dude, I mean you kind of are, in a girls body!"

EH could be worse. This is why Dexter is the perfect man for me.

 

But anyway... this week: dentist, hem/onc (Hematology Oncology- Blood Cancer Doc to check to make sure the treatment didn't trigger leukemia.) Radiation- to talk about the residual radiation effects that have been kind of plaguing me. Then my personal fav- Dr. D. Oh poor Dr. D. I don't know if he knows whats coming. Lets just say he's on vaca this week and so I'm seeing him Monday and this is the calm before the tornado currently known as Courtney whirls in. Let the boning questions commence. (I say this like there is an actual candidate... accepting applications ;) !) 

So this week... I'm going to snuggle the crap out of my mom and sister. Miss Dexter like crazy, no actually I already have separation anxiety. Get over my cheapness and buy an over the shoulder boulder holder that actually holds the boulders in. I get it, I want to slim down, but I can't keep suffocating my tata's because I assume I'll lose weight in my canons and then my bras will just fit. 

So I'm going to chat up Sassy Tim. (That has actually made the whole flight the best EVER!) I'm fangirling ;) Maybe he'll even take a pic with me! Challenged accepted! (update: challenge failed. I was too excited to get off the plane)

Let the week begin.
(Celeb styles waiting for the mamma and the seestor to pick me up "You'll know its me, I'm wearing my Buckhorn Dinner Jacket and Camo- Basically the ultimate Canadian Country Girl outift!")

 

Also Remember to add your email to the little widget box in the top right hand corner to get emails each time I post a new blog, so you don't have to check back daily. Working on The Pink in the Rink post now. :)

Awkward Moments (VERY Rated R post)

Standing in line waiting for the cashier to ring up the guy in front of me, I nervously looked around and for the first time was impatient as ever. Usually I'm totally cool with chatty chashiers. I was one of them, once upon a blue moon. It can be boring standing there. The little old man in front of me who I usually would have considered adorable was slowly counting out his change and I continued to glance nervously around the store. WHY of all days was this taking so long. It was a health food store, I could just imagine the stares and thoughts in peoples heads. I got antsier by the second and began jumping around in my place, hopefully looking just cold and not like I was nervous, for really what was not a big deal. FINALLY it was my turn. I place the goods on the little thingy and the cashier had to roll them around for the bar code. UGH, really? REALLY? Then she asked me about their rewards program, to save money. OOH I like saving money! But how long would this take because people are going to walk in the door and line up behind me and see what I was buying. Flashbacks were popping in my head of the one word she could say that would crush me. This had to be the most uncomfortable situation ever.

It was official, buying prenatal vitamins is just as awkward as buying condoms.

The flashback of the last time,

"Congratulations"

The cashier was just being polite, but I wasn't preggo, not even close. I didn't even bother to correct her, because explaining why this is the biggest oxymoron of life would take about the length of the average human gestation time. But really, buying prenatal vitamins when you can't get pregnant, it seems cruel in a sense. However, they're exactly the type of vites I need. Plus they help my hair and nails grow- BONUS!

So when I finally walked out of the store, vitamins tucked safely away in my bag, I could breath again. I mean can't a girl just want pretty hair, nails and skin with out having to worry about the stigma attached from assumptions made from one single purchase. But in all reality I was more so mad at myself, because really, who the heck cares. These people don't know me. It's the little reminders that take you out of your world and pull you back down to remind you that you're just a small fish in a big pond, not the fisherman, who every fish is aware of.

Where am I going with this... oh right. Assumptions and judgements. Never assume anything, never judge anyone. You're just opening up the door to have it come right back to you. However awkward moments are becoming the story of my life.

It's no secret with cervical cancer that there is some "rehabilitation" involved after the radiation. For full details see blog post "Accepting Applications" (Or Click Here) but the coles notes goes like this. Radiation makes the lady bits smaller, tighter and all around virginal. This may sound like a loosey gooseys dream but I'm not exactly a goose and forgive the over kill but was already smaller to begin with. (Hello pediatric speculum... awkward)

When my doctor told me there would be an 80% chance I could have sex again, I think I actually choked on the air I was supposedly supposed to subconsciously be able to breathe.

"Um what about the other 20%, I'm only 25."

Screw infertility, this is my sex life you're now messing with. My questions/comments at every appointment usually consisted of something along the lines of

"Well I can't bone if I'm not alive! When can I bone again? What are the prospects of a healthy sex life doc?"

The answer always involved a vaginal dilator. Well ummm ok, that sounds fun and dandy... not. My one doc was finally straight up with me...

"You know, it will work just as well and probably be more fun to just go and get some sex toys."

SOLD! To the doc who realized I am supposed to be just entering my sexual prime! AdamandEve.com and I have become close personal acquaintances. KY jelly is my new best friend. Let the rehabbing begin :D

So- this seems like an easy solution right? I mean orgasms are directly linked to lessening stress. (Semen is reportedly linked to alleviating depression but thats a whole other convo I don't want to 'spew' on about right now that clearly doesn't apply. ::laughing so hard, so proud of that one::) SO where does the problem lay? I mean I like orgasms, I'm well aware of what this rehab involves, I have all the necessary tools.... Oh right I live with my parents. -_-

Vibrators arn't quiet. It's a fact. We also have a dog who loves to sleep with me, and then there is Dexy who I would never not allow in my room. I'm being rehab cockblocked by my pets and parents. My future sex life is resting upon 8 paws and parentals. This has to be some sick joke.

Options... #1 well shut my door. You would think right? The layout of the house has the master bedroom and my bedroom separated by only a small bathroom. Also, we're a tight knit family, who is not opposed to barging in. Plus the animals get separation anxiety from me. (But yes, yes I do shut my door.)

#2 Wait till no one is home, WHY is this surprisingly rare? They both work, a lot! They both have friends and lives and yet... ::Palm to shaking forehead:: it seems like an impossible scenario.

I'm actually about to go pull a highschool and take my car up to look out point for a little alone time. (Not that I've ever done that........) Moving on.

#3 The bathroom... umm what am I a dude? Plus its right next to the master.

Realistically these are a lot of excuses that can be overcome, but I think it comes down to the fact, I'm having trouble mentally getting over the fact that I'm .... pleasuring myself in my parents home. Everybody masturbates. If you don't you're a straight up liar... but really, why can't I get over it. I've even tried looking at it differently.

"This is not masturbation, this is rehabilitation."

Maybe it's a glaring respect issue, because I would never have sex while the rentals are home (except for one time with an ex, but that was the shortest dog walk of life MOM!) I won't even bring boys or boyfriends to my house unless we've been dating for quite a while. But this isn't even a human, this is B.O.B. (My battery operated boyfriend) who is stashed with the guys I'm cheating on him with. (Apparently I have a few B.O.B.'s in my arsenal.) The whole point is to expand so I had to buy varying sizes, which apparently do varying things. Its like a fascinating science, I'm not even mad, I'm impressed!

Also for the record "stashed"- hiding this stuff is not easy. My mother knows which drawer to avoid, but its a little harder telling your dad

"Ummm don't look there, no seriously dad don't!"

Guys don't do subtle and he will prod with questions until he'll instantly regrets that decision.

SO lets get down to it, this is doctors orders. 3x a week for at least 20 minutes. (No seriously that's what they said.) Also, if we're taking away the sex element, it's not just so that I can have a future sex life but also so that I can get pelvic exams with out feeling like I'm giving birth. Honestly its more for the sex life.

Now for the cancer part of it, because this whole post couldn't just be... ya know. After each session I also have to insert creams. A special antibiotic of sorts because this is a painful process. It's not all fun and games. I'm prone to infection and tearing is inevitable. I also have to switch it up and occasionally insert estrogen creams to help soften the tissue making it easier to stretch. Its a messy process. Its an awkward process. My vagina and I are at war for Orgasm's which technically should make us both very happy. #ThisIsMyLife

So as far as awkward moments go, it's time to suck it up, throw on my wicked headphones, turn on some porn and give her hell. Either that or my future Plenty Of Fish tagline will be "Only Small Penis's Need Apply!"

Awkward- is now just officially the name of the game :)