Onwards and Upwards- Fly in the Sky

Kids' on leashes... check! 30 Mile detours as the result of going old school with printed directions instead of google maps.... check! Double checking with the security guard that it's ok to have a belly button ring in the scanner machine, only to have the rest of the security guards laugh and exclaim

"It's going to be a belly button ring kind of day boys"

.... check! In my defense that machine is scary as hell looking and I've been in enough MRI machines to know that metal and magnets don't go well together. I think it was a perfectly fair question. YUP- this is me trying to navigate an airport by myself.
Packing and leaving my baby and lil sis.

 

(Forcing dad to stop for a starbs pee break and admiring the fact that I actually threw on matching clothes at 6am.)

SO my phone died on the way to the airport. YAY for having it fully charged because we needed those google maps. So now I'm camped out on the floor... because it was the only outlet I could find to charge my phone, which ironically I can't even use, but who knows when you'll need some solitaire or yahtzee to pass the time.

 Oh and lets be real, we all know I'm trying to get a pic of the kid on the leash. I mean who does that? (Actually I'm sure lots of people do that, because losing a kid would be scary and chasing them would be annoying and yes I'm about to compare children to pets, but we put them on leashes right?) Thank goodness for noise cancelling headphones (J, you're a lifesaver) because this kid and I are not going to get along on this flight. Why can't parentals give their kid a benadryl like people do with their pets? Seems logical to me. (Full of maternal instincts this one -_-) 

Now that I'm settled and recharging, the panic attacks about my luggage are starting to set in. My suitcase is vintage ghetto fabulous. It says Bonjour around it repeatedly, which more than makes up for the lack of quality, because hello, its Parisian (Actually its more of a french thing but Parisian sounds cooler. It's not even french it just says a french word, but it excites me.) Sigh... someday.

 

But my suitcase, missing a few handles, tears, broken zippers and I don't have a TSA lock. Most likely they're going to search my bag which I managed to pack like a pro. But I can just imagine how my vibrators, bullets and ben wa balls are going to look under Xray. This is how profesh my packing was, I even remembered to take out a battery from each B.O.B. (Battery Operated Boyfriend) just so that they wouldn't accidentally turn on. But I'm sure anything resembling small balls or a phallus will trigger some sort of red flag. I'm starting to think it may not have been the wisest of ideas to leave my bright red bra right on top, that may illicit some probing.
(Staring out at the luggage loading... getting nervous) 

Captain Mike and Mark and SASSY Tim (how the captain introduced him which made my life), my flight attendant. Not a full flight, so I have both seats to my self. Things are looking up! Oh did I mention there is a top notch 6'5 Hottie, one row behind me and on the opposite of the aisle. Guaranteed he's going to catch me staring. (What... I'm a single 20 something.) But honestly, I just want to hang out with sassy Tim.
(Sneak shot of either Mark or Mike, not sure.)

 

(Celeb Styles- I may have been getting bored at this point.)

(Thinking about either how low the window is, or how tall I am. Also, just thinking... when you're in the sky, your mind just wants to fly)

SO this week. Doctors. Doctors. Doctors. I've had a month to feel like me again and it's been amazing. I've had my ups and downs and every other emotional experience I could muster the energy up for. I fan-girled over a guy (legit I was convinced we were going to fall in love because a. He was taller than me, and b. he had excellent taste in sports teams.) But actually, I. Fan. Girled. Think tween at a One Direction concert because of sports. (I apologize to those who had to listen/watch me fangirl that night- I was sleep deprived!)

My dad's girlfriend so eloquently put it while I was screaming at the TV during wildcard football games, mowing down on wings, and referring to relationships as "unnecessary"....

"Courtney- you should have been a dude, I mean you kind of are, in a girls body!"

EH could be worse. This is why Dexter is the perfect man for me.

 

But anyway... this week: dentist, hem/onc (Hematology Oncology- Blood Cancer Doc to check to make sure the treatment didn't trigger leukemia.) Radiation- to talk about the residual radiation effects that have been kind of plaguing me. Then my personal fav- Dr. D. Oh poor Dr. D. I don't know if he knows whats coming. Lets just say he's on vaca this week and so I'm seeing him Monday and this is the calm before the tornado currently known as Courtney whirls in. Let the boning questions commence. (I say this like there is an actual candidate... accepting applications ;) !) 

So this week... I'm going to snuggle the crap out of my mom and sister. Miss Dexter like crazy, no actually I already have separation anxiety. Get over my cheapness and buy an over the shoulder boulder holder that actually holds the boulders in. I get it, I want to slim down, but I can't keep suffocating my tata's because I assume I'll lose weight in my canons and then my bras will just fit. 

So I'm going to chat up Sassy Tim. (That has actually made the whole flight the best EVER!) I'm fangirling ;) Maybe he'll even take a pic with me! Challenged accepted! (update: challenge failed. I was too excited to get off the plane)

Let the week begin.
(Celeb styles waiting for the mamma and the seestor to pick me up "You'll know its me, I'm wearing my Buckhorn Dinner Jacket and Camo- Basically the ultimate Canadian Country Girl outift!")

 

Also Remember to add your email to the little widget box in the top right hand corner to get emails each time I post a new blog, so you don't have to check back daily. Working on The Pink in the Rink post now. :)

High Dose Radiation With A Phantom of the Opera Music Station

So the first high dose radiation was unsuccessful. I was too sore from the surgery the day before. On lots of percs and dilaudid and I still couldn't handle it so they post poned it until Tuesday.

My mum was out of town for work in St. Louis. This is all good and well, but I couldn't drug up and drive to the doc by myself. My sis was going to take me but this is a little different than just sitting in the waiting room. Luckily my "big sister" (and I'll explain) was able to take me. Erin grew up with me, we knew she and her family whilst my dad was playing for the Caps. She was basically like my babysitter, but she was too close to our family to be JUST a babysitter. She came with us to LA and then to Jersey. SO to me, she's always been my big sister. So long story short, she was able to take me. She showed up with Starbucks- she knows me too well!

So we were off. I was blabbering like an idiot. I could feel myself literally not able to stop talking. I don't know if I was just nervous, hadn't seen her in a while and was catching up, or if the anti anxiety meds were turning me into a chatty Cathy. Could have been all of the above but the beauty of it, is Erin's a beaut... she let me go.

We got to the hospital and it was a blur. I remember being really nervous. I was obviously conditioned from last Friday to be nervous as hell because it hurt like hell last week. You know you're freaking out when everyone keeps asking if you're cold but its just because you have

"I'm F******* freaking out shakes!"

When we got there I deactivated the parking chip and gave it right back to Erin. I knew there was no way I was going to remember it. We headed into the exam room and I stripped down. The nurse went over things and I got a lot more anxious. I had taken my anti anxiety pills and pain meds before we left the house so they had definitely kicked in, but my tolerance has grown significantly and I wanted to be out cold. (Well not out cold, but not feeling they way I was feeling. Nervous, Scared, Pain.)

I popped one more on the table and then Dr. D2 came in and got to work. I laid there and it felt like they were inserting 100 dildos laced with thorns. There was a lot of pressure. I said to Dr. D2, because I really don't hold back

"I imagine this is what it would feel like to have sex with a guy who has a massive dick that you're clearly not prepared for."

hahaha laughs all around but I was dead serious, that $#!% hurt. He had to clip something to the something and the something. But I just felt lady bits getting all caught up in there. I was like "WHOA!" That I imagine is what it feels like to have your junk zipped into your zipper. In all honesty I joke, but there were tears. It's not a natural feeling, its a violated feeling. Its one thing to feel pain, its a completely different thing to feel such pain in such a vulnerable place. It scars you... mentally.


Once we FINALLY got everything set up, they wheeled in a stretcher. Clearly not an easy feat, these rooms are small. They had to be careful moving me because they didn't want to undo all the hard BDSM they had just set up inside my girly bits. I was then moved into the catscan room. They did a catscan to make sure it was in place properly. I don't know how it couldn't be because it felt like it took forever to insert and wasn't pleasant.

After the Catscan we went to the mountain room. You'll see why I call it that later. Personally I would have preferred a jungle-esq waterfall scene to the mountainside lake Sound Of Music scene but at least they decorated.

Erin and I sat for a while, I played on my Ipad and showed her... well I'm sure it had something to do with shopping and pinterest. One of my fail safes. After a while I met the physicist. I was really hoping for Sheldon Cooper but then again this guy was working on my Pootang so maybe I was glad it wasn't. I mean it would be preferable for him to have some experience down below, something I'm sure Sheldon Cooper (Big Bang Theory) in all his intelligence is lacking.

They wheeled the stretcher into the Mountain room and asked if I wanted music. I said sure, and was like ready to go. The huge radiation proof doors shut and I felt like I was on a space shuttle in a tiny compartment on my way to the moon. However good pain meds can induce that feeling even in the largest of spaces. The stretcher did barely fit.


The music: Phantom of the Opera. ::Palm to Head:: as Erin and my mum both cleverly pointed out when I told them... "Should have been Sound of Music" considering the mountain scene. I had actually been talking about Phantom of the Opera after my NYC trip with my mum and sister. I wanted to see it, they both couldn't believe that I hadn't. Also a girl my sister went to Middle and High School with, and was in plays with was just cast in the off Broadway production. I'm not surprised, from what I remember, girl has a set of pipes like no other and the last time I heard her was when she was in seventh grade. As the doors reopened I asked

"and who picked the music?"

It was of course my Eagles loving doc- who just so happened to be an opera-broadway aficionado too. I checked and saw that they used CD's, It should come as no surprise that I'm bringing Britney with me on Friday. Old School Britney, Baby One More Time and Oops I did it Again all up in the radiation hiizzous. Or lil Wayne. I don't know why, it just seems fitting.

When everything was said and done, they just pulled all their kinky gadgets out. Like it was no big deal. I got dressed and we were outta there. The meds were really hitting me so I barely made it home with out dozing a few times. I was exhausted. I got home, stripped, crawled in bed and was out cold. We got home at around 1:30pm. I was out cold until 5:30 am the next day.


My mum woke me up for dinner, but I barely remember that. She had brought me my fav, Pasta Bolognese. I had had Stauffers Mac and Cheese the day before and it ended up all over my bathroom floor. Conveniently I decided to puke it up after my sister left and decided to go and visit a friend. She definitely gets the nurse of the year award.

So High Dose Radiation SUCKS. It messes with your head. It makes me hate my lady bits, and with so much pain taking place down there, how am I ever going to want to have sex again. I mean, I'm being programed to associate them with pain, so unless I adopt a new BDSM fetish, this is going to suck. But the treatment is working... that is the plus side to all of this. So bring Friday on with a vengeance, I'm excited to get drugged up and its go time. I just have to remember...