"All visible signs of Cancer are gone... "But... I still have two tests left. This was the first very big hurdle though, and I am very confident the tests are going to come back amazing. I just wanted to clarify for those who were unsure, and asking me. Yes you can't see any cancer, its unlikely but it doesn't mean it's not there, so we have two tests left to confirm the already amazing news. The odds are- Ever in my favor! (Hunger Games... haha get it? No... Ok moving on.)
There is nothing that makes you want to be as healthy as you can be than seeing other people living their lives to the fullest. It makes you want to be living your life too! Me- well I get great news and the response is usually the same, overwhelming.
"Courtney, You have no visible signs of cancer! What are you going to do now?"I almost always reply to good news...
"Umm I'm going to sleep."My theory is that it takes me a while to let something sink in. I overwhelm myself trying to get it to sink in. Ok, my recent news hasn't sunk in yet.
I don't think this news has sunk in because I still have two tests left. I've just gotten over the first MAJOR hurdle. I still have a PET scan and a PCR test. A PCR is a blood test used to detect whether my leukemia is back. It stands for "Polymerase Chain Reaction". Basically it is a genetic test to make sure my genes have not translocated. In English: when genes 15 and 17 switch places, its called translocation and it means my leukemia is back. Your genes should be 18.104.22.168.17.18.19.etc. etc. but when I have leumkemia or APML specifically, mine would be ordered 22.214.171.124.15.18.19.- the indicator for AML type 3. So with out the science lesson, we want them to come back in order with no hint of leukemia. (I understand this like the back of my hand but couldn't take and handle a science class if my life depended on it. Typical.)
The PET scan, well that uses radioactive dyes to detect abnormalities in the cells. We need that to come back with positive results too.
When both of those things happen I'm in the clear, officially. I have no doubt they will come back fine. I'm tired, and still feeling slightly off but I'm recovering from toxic chemotherapy and high doses of radiation where I was microwaved. A little recovery time is pretty much necessary.
The support has been so overwhelming and amazing! I can't even believe that I'm only 106 views shy of 42,000 since I started this journey 3.5 months ago. The skype dates, the emails, the letters and cards, the texts, calls and bbms, the care packages, the visits, the events, the facebook posts and messages. They've been my rock. They are what keep me positive and excited and in a weird way, safe. If I've forgotten to respond to some, I promise its the chemo brain. It really hates me. But I've gotten the well wishes and am soooo grateful!
I have 4 weeks left in New Jersey. I have people I want to see while I'm down here and things I want to do before I go home. So there may be some fun posts to come, sort of like in the beginning. No alcohol involved yet because my body is still in recovery mode. (I'm still craving that Extra dirty kettle one martini with extra olives, or a Ceasar, or frozen margarita. HMMMM yum).
I'm going out with one of my girlfriends this weekend- we're going to paint pottery because I'm such a bad@$$. I'm so excited I can't even handle it.
Hunger Games: Catching Fire next week with mom and the seestor and Jakk attack! (I actually may reread the first two books one more time before we go because I've already forgotten. Chemo brain is really coming at me with a vengeance.)
Hopefully I'll get to one more Eagles game, preferably one where we win because I'm starting to think I'm bad luck and would like to feel good juju vibes.
Oh and I'm absolutely going to try and go to some yoga. Yesterday morning, because I hadn't slept all night, I thought about going to the morning class. Keywords: thought. about. it. I even looked at the schedules. Baby steps. Who knows, next time I might get dressed and the time after that may even think about it, get dressed and then actually go!
So first things first on the normalcy agenda: stop being a night owl. Clearly I'm so excited to get back to work at the bars that I'm already on the sleep schedule required for working at them.
Then once I'm awake during the day, school work. I've started a little bit.
Yay! Just good things to come! I can feel it!
4 Weeks. 4 Weeks. 4 Weeks.