Pink In The Rink - The Event

Months of planning. Weeks of preparation, anticipation, interviews, and promoting. All cultivating in a fabulous night for an incredible cause. Its come, its gone, and I wouldn't change a single thing.

When I first got the call to be a part of this event, it wasn't even a question that it was a huge honor and that I was going to do everything in my power to be available and to help make it a success. I knew it would be time consuming but it wasn't about me as an individual it was about what I could do to help people on a MUCH larger scale. Realistically this wasn't about my dad and I, this wasn't about the Pete's, this was about doing everything in my power to use my past experiences to help raise money so that no one would have to go through what I have been through. Its not fun, and its nothing that anyone should have to deal with. Not the patient, not their friends and family, no one. So for me, if someone said jump, I said "How freaking high?"

I also knew doing this event was going to be a risk for me personally. I was risking hurting my mom's feelings because I knew she would feel left out and unappreciated. However, for me, it was still something I wanted to do because this isn't about us, this is about Women's Health and all of the people I could help by getting involved. The theme was Daddy's Girls, and so while promoting it, it focused on my relationship with my dad. If the theme was Mommy's girls, then that would have been a different story and because we were working with the Pete's, my dad's hockey alma mater, that too would alienate my mother. I was right and she was very offended, felt unappreciated and reinforced why having divorced parents who do not get along is not fun for anybody. There are two sides to every story and the truth but this wasn't about her. This was also something I decided to do for me, and anyone who I could help, because this last diagnosis is realistically the first time I have openly talked about what I have gone through. My mom was a HUGE part of my recovery and with out her, I would most likely not be here. My sister and she were there for the worst of times and with out them I would not be the woman I am today. So in honor of Women's health, I thank them for being there for me to shape me into the woman I am today.

The MAIN Event:
It was fabulous. I got to do a couple interviews before the game. One radio, and one TV. I was so nervous. I then found out we would be doing the puck drop too. I whispered to my dad before we went out "Do NOT let me fall" lol. I could totally picture myself pulling a JLAW circa Oscars 2013.

There was an opening ceremonies which included a video BrandHealth did, which was incredible. The gist was Heaven, with angels awaiting my arrival.... 2003, "Nope She's not coming" 2006 ... "Nope, Still Not coming." 2008 "Ok She's still not coming whats going on?" 2013- "Ok Clearly she doesnt want to come" .... Its the perfect metaphor because I wont give up my fight against cancer. I wont give up the fight for other people battling cancer and being their voice.

Everything went swimmingly, no falls. I then got to rush around the rink during the game, because so many friends and family and co workers came to support me and I couldn't have been happier. This night was not only a fundraiser to support women's health, but personally a celebration that I was ok. I may have even had a date this night, but this is for a later post, because I know you're all DYING to know why I haven't posted lately.

The event raised around $40,000 and I am ecstatic. After the game, we got to go down to the ice with the team to take pics on the ice. In true Courtney fashion... I ran... in 4" heeled boots with my honorary Pink in the Rink Jersey on. I was a little too eager. As I darted across the ice, I just about made it until at the last minute I felt my heel slip out from under me and I knew the inevitable was coming. Yoga balance or whatever, I just about caught myself, along with the goalie's lap. I figured this would be a good spot for my place in the pic and had a soaking wet bum the rest of the night.

After the arena we went to Spanky's where we had quite the after party. It didn't take long for Britney to come on and me to end up on the bar. Here are the pics from the night. Thank you to everyone who was a huge support. TO the people who supported me through the nerve wracking press interviews (which turned out to lead to something fabulous... but again more on that later) and to everyone who came out and donated. I'm truly touched by your generosity and am so proud and humbled by everyone who helped aid in the fight to support women's health!
(My assistant for the evening who kept me on track! Thank You C)

(Some Friends, Epic Boss, and more friends)

(Some Adorable Mini Fans!)

(Dad and I with Danielle from Energy 99.7 and Country 105.1- and then Britney's "Toxic" on the Bar)

Little did I realize how much this event would change my life. I say everything happens for a reason, and it does. I would not have been able to be a part of this with out my diagnosis of cervical cancer. I would not have gotten to do all of the press interviews and I would not have gotten to meet someone who has turned my world upside down, in the best way possible.
Everything does happen for a reason and although I repeat it constantly....

Flashback: January 3, 2004: How it all began.

Flashback January 3, 2004.

My parents met when they were in the seventh grade in a small town 2 hours east of Toronto. They were married, had my sister and I, and we got to live all over because my dad was a professional hockey player in the NHL. When they got divorced, we were living in New Jersey. My dad chose to return to the small Canadian town and my mum stayed in New Jersey. Initially I stayed with my mum for a few years in New Jersey, but I hated everything about it, because I felt like it hated me. I just did not fit in, and so I moved in with my dad in Canada when I was 15. I like to joke that I was raised by guys, a hockey team of sorts and its why I speak dude fluently. It was hard leaving my mum and my sister, but it worked out well for us. So January of 2004, I had been officially living with my dad since the summer, Christmas had just passed and my sister was staying with my dad and I for the holidays. My mum just so happened to be in town as well visiting her mother, my grandmother. As far as all that was concerned, the timing couldn't have been more perfect.

My dad had gotten a brand new LCD TV for the holidays and we were so excited to watch "Finding Nemo" that night. My dad was broadasting for TSN and had to be on the air the next morning, so I made sure to keep quiet so he would look good on the air, not tired. My dad had the biggest couch of all time. It was fabulous. Natalie and I snuggled up to watch Nemo. We grabbed some popcorn and started the movie. About half way through the movie, I tasted blood in my mouth. I assumed a kernel had cut my gum. I played it off as nothing had happened. My Dad was in bed by this point so my boyfriend T snuck over (we started dating a few weeks after I had moved to Canada in June- his sneaking over is not as scandalous as it sounds). When the movie was over, the bleeding had increased in my mouth but I thought nothing of it or at least tried to think nothing of it.

It was late so Natalie went to bed. I told T to sleep in our guest room, because something seemed off about the blood in my mouth but I didn't want to alarm him. That's one of my downfalls, I ignore all the warning signs because I want to assume the best, I don't ever want to burden anyone with something that could potentially be nothing. He went to sleep in the guest room, and I grabbed a large plastic cup. The blood was accumulating a lot quicker and I had to spit it out in the cup to avoid swallowing it. I remember feeling light headed and woozy but still thought it was nothing serious, because I didn't want anything to be seriously wrong. I didn't want to wake my dad up to have him take me to the E.R. for it to be just a cut on my gum from popcorn, and potentially ruin his broadcasting career. So I just kept my cup, spitting in my cup.

My room was baby blue. I had baby blue walls and sheets and a comforter with white trim. I had a white dresser with baby blue drawers and baby blue closet doors with a full size mirror. The headboard of my bed was a white picket fence my mum had picked out of a trash and refurbished for my room. I had pictures from my cheerleading days in NJ, and posters of kittens. I wore a baby blue tee that night and crawled into bed with my cup. I started coughing because I was beginning to swallow the blood that was accumulating in my stomach, there was just so much of it. I grabbed tissues to try and wipe the blood away from my face but knew I looked like a character from a low budget vampire movie. I was glad I asked T to stay in the other room, because I didn't want him to see me this way. I eventually passed out, probably from being so lightheaded.

When I woke up the next morning I instantly knew that it was worse and this was an extremely dangerous situation. I had a raging headache. Everything was blurry. My sheets were no longer blue, my walls were no longer blue. There were puddles of blood everywhere. There was a spray pattern along my sheets no doubt from coughing blood in my sleep. Everything was covered in blood. I vomited copious amounts of blood up, from everything I had swallowed in my sleep. It was early in the morning because my dad was up getting ready. At this point, I knew something was seriously amiss and I could no longer hide it, nor should I. I yelled for my sister and she came rushing in.

"Nat, please go get dad."

To which any unruly concerned little sister would reply

"WHY? Court what's wrong? Tell me?"

I choked back a yell and simply said again

"Seriously Natalie, GO GET DAD. PLEASE!"

My dad rushed in wearing a brown suit and as he walked in my doorway stopped cold in his tracks. With absolute fear in his voice stammered,

"What the hell happened?"

The first words out of my mouth were

"I'm so sorry. I don't know whats wrong with me, it started last night but I didn't want you to be tired today so I didn't say anything and I'm sorry because I think something is seriously wrong."

Tears started to flow as it became a reality that this wasn't me being stoic, but something dire and I was urgently ill. My Dad jumped into action,

"Call T and have him come pick up your sister, that way we can head to the hospital right now, I'll call your mother and have her meet us on the way."

Little did he realize that T was two bedrooms over, but I left that part out. Last thing I needed was to feel like hell AND get busted for unauthorized sleepovers in the same day. However, if I was ever going to get out of it with the sympathy vote, that day was the day. My Dad went to change and call my mum and I woke up T and explained what happened. We left immediately for the hospital. I didn't pack a bag, or bring anything. I knew I was sick but had no idea with what, and no idea how severe it was.

It was a 45 minute car ride to the hospital because we lived on the outskirts of town. It was long and quiet. I looked at my dad and said

"I don't think this is just an iron deficiency anymore."

We met my mom at the hospital and she took one look at me, and knew. It was the first time I had seen her since she arrived in town. I was pale as anything and covered head to toe in bruises. If you didn't know I was sick you would have thought someone beat me silly. There was no waiting in the E.R., they took me right back and began blood work. The doctor said he knew exactly what to test for because he was pretty sure he knew. While we waited for the tests I was starving. T went to get me Harvey's because all I wanted was a cheeseburger. When he finally got it to me, I was too weak to even lift it to my mouth. There was so much blood pooling in my stomach that I couldn't stop vomiting. They had i.v.'s running fluids but it wasn't helping. I tried to take a bite and savored it while it was in my mouth but simply could not swallow. The simplest task of taking a bite of one of my favorite foods on earth was impossible. T patiently tried to continue feeding me, but it would simply not work. The doctors came back in, and we knew they had nothing but bad news.

"We need to get her to Toronto immediately. She is DIC (disseminated intravascular coagulation) and needs blood transfusions. We can't be sure which type, or how severe but we believe she has leukemia and with out further testing and treatment she may only have a week or two. So we need to act immediately."

They arranged to have an ambulance take me to Sick Kids in Toronto, and my father rode with me. I was in and out of consciousness the whole ride. I had one of those turquoise kidney shaped puke buckets and it was full to the brink of bloody tissues. I kept spitting the blood into the tissues. I knew I was sick. I knew it was serious, but I had no idea I had cancer. If anything, I was excited at first.

My parents lived in different countries, I was the baby of the group of my friends. I was the new girl at my school, and I had an older boyfriend. I craved attention and needed any sort of validation to feel secure in my new roles in the new life I had created for myself. I thought to myself,

"I'm going to head to the hospital for a few weeks, get a lot of attention and be back and at it in a couple of weeks."

I had no idea what was ahead of me. No idea what so ever. Here I am, nine and a half years later... still wondering when I'm going to wake up from this dream. Still trying to come to terms with how this happened. Still... fighting.

The signs were all there. When I got to LCS (My high school) I was in the best shape of my life. I played on their basketball team and hockey team. I trained as hard as I could everyday and ate really healthy. In December I said to my hockey coach

"I'm so sorry, I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm training just as hard, if not twice as hard as the other girls but I am always exhausted and feel like I can't keep up."

I was taking advil like it was pez from a dispenser because I constantly had headaches. I was covered in bruises to the point, I had an adult ask me about my relationship with T. T didn't go to my highschool, because he was a cottage boy from Toronto. He was an angel and they couldn't have been more off base asking me, but based on how I looked you never knew. I attributed the bruises to hockey. I only joined the team because my school didn't have a cheerleading squad and I could skate, and well! I learned how to skate before I could walk. At the winter formal, while getting ready at a friends house, I walked into her dresser. It just grazed right below my shoulder but with in minutes I had an enormous bruise. I would think to my self when things like this happened

"Wow, I must have walked into it a lot harder than I realized."

The final give away was my period. I was always bleeding. Somedays it was so bad I couldn't go to school. My blood was clearly trying to tell me something was wrong. I just always had an excuse.

"Oh maybe I messed up my birth control. Oh Hockey was a little tough today. I have headaches because I'm dehydrated. I'm tired because I'm not sleeping enough. I can't keep up at practice because I'm not training hard enough."

T's family had looked into it and said that it sounded like I had an iron deficiency because I was not a fan of red meat. Nobody knew, but nobody wanted the reality to be true.

Canadian health care is not the best, and I will gladly and openly talk about it's downfalls. All of this was happening in November, I couldn't get a doctors appointment until January 6th. I went into the hospital on January 3. Round one. Ding Ding Ding.... and the race was off. That was how it began...

John Mayer, Jake Owen, Jason Aldean & Jack Daniels: My men this weekend. P1

I woke up and opened my eyes. Not the kind of wake up where you roll over, stare into the sunlight, blink 100 times and adjust to your surroundings. No, the kind where your eyes shoot open, wide open, your hands instantly fly out to your sides and grip the closest thing. I saw deep brown walls, a big mirror on the wall, and windows covered up by dark curtains. My head was pounding.

"Where the HELL was I?"

After a couple minutes of adjusting to the volcano erupting in my head, and my eyes dissecting the room, it hit me.

"What the HELL am I doing in my sisters bed?"

I rolled over, and tried to get up.

"Hmm this is going to be a lot harder than it should be."

I braced my self and pushed my self up with every ounce of energy I could muster. As soon as I was vertical, my volcano turned into the death star blowing up my brain.

"This is not going to be a good day."

I wobbled to the bathroom, gripping every surface I could find on the way to stable myself. I peed, and with my eyes closed and an evil smiling grin thought to myself

"That was one HELL of a night!"

It all started on Friday while laying in bed with my mum. I knew this was going to be my last weekend before treatment and if its anything like it has been in the past, we know that making plans is impossible. Expect the unexpected. SO we wanted to do it up this weekend, and do it up might be an understatement. I had been talking about how I wanted to go to Jason Aldean all week. I missed Boots and Hearts and the Havelock Jamboree (both country festivals in Canada.) I love country. All of it. Back to when I used to Dj and bartend on Tumbleweed Tuesdays at the Ale House Canteen in Kingston ($4 Beer boots anyone?) My first concert was Garth Brooks, and I was seriously young. So my mum looked at me and was like,

"ok lets see if we can get tickets."

I think my mum has a magical touch because not only did we get tickets we got 13th row. The concert was on Saturday and I was so excited I couldn't even handle it. It gets better, John Mayer was also in town. He was playing Friday night and she looked at me as said, wanna go? I was like UH YES! We were doing the double hitter and I was STOKED!

I was supposed to go see JOHN FREAKING MAYER (Friends With Benefits fans anyone?) with a guy friend about 4 years ago. I even told him,

"look R, are you sure you're taking me because if not I'll get my own tickets."

He responded with "No, no its you and me!" Well that didn't happen and I was SOOOO mad at him. Legit pissed, more so bummed I missed the concert, because that was also for my favorite album of his 'Battle Studies". It worked out though, because I was finally getting to go. My concert bucket list was being ticked off one by one this summer. There really isn't that much to do around here in Philly.

Friday night, me, J and my mom. John Mayer, 8th row center, HEAVEN. I raided my sisters closet, got ready and we were off. We got there, did the usual, our 3B routine; bathroom, booze and buy tshirts. We were almost ready to go. We had to grab the crab fries. LOVE THEM. I sat next to this older woman (at least 50s) and realized she was there by herself. It made sense because we had 3 tickets so odds are she bought the single. It was so cute, because she was there just because she loved the music. So much so, she didn't care if anyone else came with her. She was married because she had on a wedding ring too. Personally, I would kick my husbands tush if he made me go alone but I was like

"Damn, I want to have this woman's balls some day."

I'll do movies by myself and go to restaurants, I mean sometimes I don't want to be around people, I just feel like a concert is a whole other level. She rocked out and it was adorable. Philip Phillips opened and he was AMAZING. He did a lil Wayne cover and it was epic. John sounded incredible live. It was madness. He played for two and a half hours and it was just a huge jam sesh. The concert was tailored for his die hard fans. There were a lot of songs I didn't know, and I have all of his cds and listen to them, all the time. I think he played a lot of stuff off his new album which comes out like next week. It was still so good. Talk about talent.

At one point he kind of stopped the show because a girl was holding up a sign that said "Please Play 'Comfortable'". He commented on her sign and was like "It's not on the set list but because its such a beautiful song, lets do it." He whipped it out like it was nothing and the cameras panned to the girl and she was basically crying. It was the cutest thing and I think the highlight of my night. Something about seeing people that happy, just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

As we were standing there, loving life, I was looking off to the side of the stage to see if Katy Perry was by chance there. I saw a blonde haired guy and was like...

"Hmmm I know that hair"

Then I saw two other guys with him, and grabbed my mums arm,

"OMG MOM, thats Harry Styles and Niall Horan and Liam from One Direction!"

She was like

"Who?"

I was like MOOMMMMM! I had watched them on GMA that morning so I knew they were in the area. After John's last song before his encore, he walked over and gave his guitar to Niall. The lights were out but Niall stood up and waved it to the crowd. It was a John Mayer concert so I doubt there were a lot of directioners there but I have very eclectic taste and I knew exactly who it was and was excited about it ::not ashamed::. My suspicions were later confirmed when the boys tweeted a pic from the concert. I was crushed, I should have tried to get pics. I was also so stoked!

After the concert we went to the Cheesecake Factory. I was pooped but I needed munchies. It was so good as usual. It was just an all around fun evening. Saturday is where things get interesting.

*I don't like bananas plain, but had to eat something in the car on the way there to take a med and a banana was all I could find.

I slept in all day Saturday. My energy levels were already low from the night before and I knew tonight was going to be UNREAL! My mum woke me up and I got ready as quick as I could. We had to head into Philly to pick up our tickets. Now according to my mum there was some drama, but I'll get to that later. I put in my biggest and best country curls and was going to wear my favorite white sundress but I had forgotten my cowboy boots in Canada and something about it just felt wrong if I wore flip flops. This is now the SECOND case of underpacked, cough cough "DAD" cough cough. So I went with Jeans, a black tank and my cowboy hat. My mum and I ended up being kinda twins, it was cute.

We grabbed food for our tailgate and some beer and were on our way. We picked up the tickets, and because of the miscommunication, we ended up getting two extras. We didn't notice till we were in the car. We figured we could pawn them, or worst/fun case pay it forward. We had VIP parking which was sweet too. We got to the lot, set up shop and were ready to go. I told my mum not to underestimate country fans, we're loyal as hell. People had been there drinking all day. Apparently, (and we found this out after the show), there were something like 4,000 people who stayed in the parking lots after the concert started to just party and listen to the music. Thats pretty damn cool!

Some people had these little tents, which looked weird. When we got a closer look we realized people had brought their own porta potties. ::Mind. Blown.:: There were pick up trucks with stripper poles in the beds. STRIPPER POLES. Little did I realize the foreshadowing this was for the rest of the night. We went over to another lot and the people had clearly been there all day. It was like a frat party. You could barely move there were so many people, the music was blaring and everyone was rocking their red solo cups. As we were walking through one guy looked at my mum and yelled "MOMMMMMMMMMM". It was the funniest thing ever, she grabbed me and was like moving on, clearly unimpressed.

In line for the porta potty we made some new friends. Leave it to the Canadians to find each other. I went on a beer run and when I got to the line I saw my mum chatting away with these pretty hot guys. I was like uh OKAY Chaunce, way to work it. It turned out they were from Canada. Upon further probing we discovered they were rookies here for Flyers training camp. They had just come to party but wanted tickets and we had tickets. It was really funny because we had noticed them right when we first got there... My mum was like

"OOH Pink shorts- he is so your type"

I was like

"Thanks mom but nah, theres another cowboy I'd rather be with."

Turned out he was with our hockey buds. We went over to their tailgate and pink shorts was WASTED. I asked him

"Do the color of your shorts speak to your sexual orientation?"

He looked at his friend and was like

"She just chirped my shorts"

then came over and kissed me on the cheek. So cute. So drunk. We ended up just giving the one player T our extra tickets because he was actually really polite and nice. He wasn't wasted and was just an all around nice guy. He didn't walk around boasting who he was and I appreciated that. My mum had a friend selling tickets too, the other guys got theirs as well from him. We parted ways before the show but it added to our tailgate experience.

We went into the show and pulled our 3B routine. Bathroom, Booze, & Buy. I got the CUTEST shirts, which I'm actually obsessed with. We missed Thomas Rhett but we got there just in time for Jake Owen.

Oh. My. Gawd.

He was incredible live. He would take pics with peoples' camera phones, sign hats, drink people in the audience's beer. He was so entertaining, so hot, so good live. My mum was shocked at how full it was, because normally the opening act is hit or miss, but everyone was in their seats ready to go. He dedicated "Alone With You" to all the cowboys with their cowgirls and it made me wish a certain someone was there with me, (not saying I didn't have fun with my mom, I mean she's my partner in crime!) Did I mention how hot Jake Owen was?

Jason was so close I could hardly wait. DJ Silver played and he was AWESOME. But then, the lights went low. It was so dark you couldn't see anything... until the screens lit up. At the top of the main screen on stage that was flashing Crazytown, (the song he opened with) was the silhouette of a cowboy. My heart stopped. It was go time!

I rocked out the whole show. I could barely even handle it. My calves hurt so much today because I constantly jump up and down during concerts. Its a great workout, I highly recommend it. I was singing, bopping around, my cowboy hat flew off like 5 times and we were so lucky the people around us were cool. Our seats were so close. The pictures don't do it justice.

When he played "She's Country" you would have thought I won the lottery. I was jumping up and down so hard, it was as if there was an invisible jump rope. Maybe all my trainer needed to do to get me to jump longer than 30 seconds was to play that song because I went non stop! His encore was "My Kind Of Party" and I was just as stoked! My mom looked over at me half way through the concert and I was like

"WHAT are you staring at?"

She was like

"You know every word"

in a very surprised tone. I was like

"Mom, I don't think you understand this secret obsession I have with country music, cowboys and plaid. Tonight is one of the highlights of my summer!"

We got a sweet little surprise too. So Jason walks to the top of the main screen and talks about how he did this duet with Kelly Clarkson. I was like "OOh saw her two weeks ago." So he's like

"Yea we did this song 'Don't You Wanna Stay' and so ladies and gentleman KELLY CLARKSON."

I was expecting her to show up on a screen or something like a video but NO! SHE WAS THERE! I just about died. What are the odds she was at our show? She's touring with Maroon 5, how did this happen? She looked hot too! She had a skin tight red leopard print dress (very fitting for Jersey.)I was stoked, it was just the BEST concert. He is so talented and sounded amazing live and I would put it in the top 2 concerts I've ever seen. Yes, ahead of Britney, I know I know I just admitted that.

When it was over I was crushed. I actually could have stayed a few more hours....

So the rest of my night.... ::Evil Grin:: There will be a part two. :)

Until then, I need to sleep. I have my second opinion tomorrow with Cooper Radiation people. We got what could be bad news on Friday. I may have to have another surgery to biopsy the lymph node. This would be a lot more intense than the last one because I would be completely under anesthesia, and they would use robots. Hmmm that sounds fun. ANy other scenario and they would just radiate but they don't want to have to give me any more radiation than they have too because it really could trigger my bone marrow, i.e. my leukemia to relapse. So we're waiting to get more information. Until then, I start radiation on Tuesday. ::Not Excited!:: So we'll be getting more information on that this week. I can just sit and think about how amazing my weekend was whenever it gets me down.

Thanks Mom!